Andante

CLVII

Time seemed to crawl slower than ever before. The school days were stretching out, each becoming an eternity where he really did try his best to focus, instead of just sitting there, staring out of the window, dreaming of being with Brett again, of performing, of busking, of masterclasses...
That fucking masterclass, which had let three whole weeks go by without any word about whether they were in or not. He was barely speaking to anyone at the moment, except Brett and Lily, and his mum sometimes. As time carried on he seemed to be getting more shy than he had ever been before. He knew that that was not a great development, of course, but he really had no clue how to even start to change it either. 
At least his violin playing was going alright, the extra practice in the morning clearly helping. It had taken him a week to get over his 'I suck' sulk, but he could enjoy playing again by now, his practice and his time with Brett sparks of light in the gloomy grey. 

So maybe it was the funk he'd been in that made him completely forget what day it was today, because he had gotten up like normal at silly o'clock and gotten an hour's practice in before school, when he walked down the stairs to see his mum beaming at him. 
"Happy birthday, Eddy!"
Wait, shit, what? It was Thursday! He grappled around for his wits for just a second too long, because his mum frowned.
"Thanks, mum!" he managed, but she was cocking her head already.
"Eddy! Did you forget?"
"Erm, yes, I guess. I've been so busy with school and stuff, I didn't realise it was today."
He could see her surprise, but she let it go and gave him a pat on the shoulder.
"Seventeen. You're all grown up." she said, with a slightly whistful look.
I mean, what could he say to that? Actually, mum, I can't wait for this year to be over so I can finally go off and do what I love doing? Somehow he didn't really think that's what she was looking to hear.
"Now, Eddy, it's almost the end of the school year, and you're going to have to start preparing for your medical school entrance exam."
He froze, for just a moment.
Was this the moment? Was this the time that he was going to tell her no, I'm not going to med school but I'm going flat out for my dream? I'm going to become a violinist, and it doesn't matter what you say? Or was he going to chicken out, and simply do as he was told, like he always did?
For a millisecond he pictured himself telling her the truth. Pictured her face, as he told her those words. Pictured what would happen next. And then he smiled politely. 

"Sure, mum. I'll start looking at it, maybe discuss some more tutoring for math?"
She nodded quite happily, and in that moment, in a surge of bravery, he suddenly kicked his inner chicken to one side and he made his move. 
"Mum? Do you think you'd be okay if I also went to music theory lessons? I'd love to know more about that... I think it would help my violin playing a lot."
She was quiet for one moment. 
Breathe, mate, breathe. Play it cool. 
Then she nodded. 
"Okay, as long as you do your school work and study work."
He really tried not to beam too hard. 
"Thanks, mum!"

He ate his breakfast on the double and then he slung his book bag over his shoulder to make his way to yet another endless school day.