Andante

XLI

The auditorium faded until it was just the two of them left in a little bubble of soft light. He didn't have to think about it: he lifted the arm rest and took Brett's hand, for real now. Brett turned slightly and put his free hand on his neck, pulling him softly to him. 
¨I really, really like you, Eddy.¨ he whispered, and his breath came soft and sweet, washing over Eddy like elixir. 
¨I'm going to kiss you now.¨ he whispered back, and Brett closed his eyes. 
Slowly he bent forward and their lips touched. Sparks flew everywhere, every nerve in his body on fire, and before he knew it he exploded in a volley of sparks...

Fuck!! His eyes flew open. No! Not this! Not now! He pulled the quilt over his head, as if he were four years old and no one could see him if he couldn't see them. His breath slowed down and he allowed himself just this moment, this quick moment, feeling how good his body felt, before he would have to face it. All his hope of Brett still having been asleep evaporated, because he heard him clearing his throat in his bed. He wasn't asleep. Oh man. Oh man! 
He breathed deeply once and then he lowered the quilt slowly, so just his eyes peeped out from under them, and looked at Brett's bed warily. 

¨Hi.¨ Brett said, his voice kind and his expression pleasant. 
Eddy closed his eyes in embarrassment. 
¨Hi.¨ he said, softly. 
He just wanted to ground to open up and swallow him, now, please. He threw his arm over his eyes, peeking through the gap at Brett. He'd never been this embarrassed in his entire life. 
¨Eddy, don't worry!¨ Brett said then, his words taking away his last little remnant of hope he had that Brett may not have noticed what happened. ¨It happens to us all. Don't worry about it.¨
He didn't say anything. If he would talk, he'd cry, he knew. 
¨Hey, it's okay.¨ Brett said. ¨Look, I'll close my eyes and you can get into the bathroom without me seeing you, okay?¨
He nodded, still not saying anything. Brett closed his eyes as promised and Eddy jumped up and ran into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and sinking down on the toilet seat miserably, holding his head in his hands. But he knew he'd have to get ready. So he got up and did what he had to do. Then he splashed some water in his face and sighed. 
He opened the door to find Brett was already dressed. He avoided looking at him, he just walked into the room and went to his suitcase to grab some clothes. 
¨Eddy, it really is okay.¨ Brett tried again, but Eddy just nodded. It really wasn't.  
¨Right, I'll get ready too then.¨ Brett said, and Eddy knew he was giving him some space. 
He got dressed on the double and he thought about just going to the cafeteria already. But that would be mean. That might give Brett the feeling he had done something wrong, when he hadn't. Brett was perfect.
He shook his head miserably again. He knew he'd have to talk to him at some point, but some point wasn't now. He couldn't deal now. 

They walked to the cafeteria in silence, and Eddy got the feeling that Brett was giving him the space he needed. Of course he would. Brett always seemed to know the right thing to do. 
Rehearsal started not long after, but Eddy couldn't focus to save his life. His thoughts kept going back to his dream, the lovely dream and its hideous fallout, and he made mistakes. Again and again, until the conductor eyed him questioningly. 

So when the break came Brett took him by the shoulders, turned him towards him and said, his voice deadly serious: 
¨We're going to our room and we're going to talk about this. Yeah?¨
Oh God. 
He knew he had no choice. 
¨Okay.¨ he whispered, and started to follow Brett out of the auditorium. 
¨What's wrong?¨ Lizzy asked suddenly, appearing beside them from her section. 
¨Eddy's got a headache, we're just going to our room to get him some paracetamol. We'll be back in a second.¨ Brett lied smoothly. 
She looked at Eddy, her face at once concerned. 
¨Feel better!¨ she said and he nodded. 
Yeah. Fat chance of that happening, Lizzy.