Andante

XXI

Eddy swore there was something wrong with the time. There must be some physics rule out of place or something. Maybe Jupiter had changed its trajectory through the sky and was coming over to fuck with their dimensions? 
It had to be something, because never in the history of forever had time gone slower than today. 
Every time he looked at the clock on the wall only a minute or so had passed, no matter how long he tried not to look. 

Lily asked him several times during the break if he was okay, and he wanted to shout. 
'No! No, I'm not okay! I've hurt my best friend!'
But he didn't, of course. He just mumbled that he had a headache. 
¨Shouldn't you go home, Eddy?¨ Lily asked, her voice so kind it ached. ¨I can take you if you want?¨
He smiled at her. Lily was so nice.
¨Thanks Lily, but my mum would kill me if I came home for a headache.¨
Not to mention the fact that he'd still have to wait until school was out anyway. 
She nodded. ¨Let me know if there's anything I can do, okay?¨
¨I will.¨

It was the eighth wonder of the world, he swore, when the final bell rang. Fi-nal-ly. 
He shook his head and got his stuff together in double time and he was already out the door when he saw Lily looking after him. He gave her a quick wave, but he wasn't stopping for anything right now. 
Picking up his violin at home only took a moment. He really didn't want to see his mum right now, so he ran upstairs to dump his bag, get the violin, and then he almost ran back out. But he stopped himself just in time. Let's not be stupid here. 
¨I'm off to Brett!¨ he called into the kitchen. ¨I'll be back before dinner, okay, mum?¨
She appeared in the doorway. 
¨And you won't forget your homework?¨
¨No mum, I've even done some already in the break.¨
She eyed him suspiciously, but then her eyes softened. 
¨Okay son. Have fun.¨
¨Thanks mum!¨ he said brightly, and closed the door behind him. 

He couldn't really run, he had his violin. But he sort of speedwalked to Brett's house. He must have looked super stupid but he really, really couldn't care less right now. 
His heart was in his throat by the time he arrived at Brett's. Whoa. He was so nervous he felt like he could throw up. 
But then Brett's face appeared behind the iron mesh and he smiled as he opened the door.  
¨Hey bro! How are you? Come in!¨
¨I... I'm fine!¨ he stammered. What? 
He walked in and quickly said hello to Brett's mum as they walked up the stairs. Eddy took a deep breath as he came into Brett's room. The room smelled of Brett. Despite all of the worries, he was very happy to be here. 
¨How was school?¨ Brett asked him, closing the door behind him. 
¨Long.¨ he replied honestly. He shook his head and the words fell out of him before he could stop them. 
¨Brett, please, are you okay?¨
Brett was quiet for a moment, and then he looked up at him with eyes as deep as the sea. 
¨I will be, Eddy. Just leave it, okay? We're good.¨
Eddy shook his head again. ¨Okay.¨ he whispered. Brett's words hit him like a wrecking ball, and he felt a pain searing through his chest. 
So now he was sure. He'd hurt him. He wanted to cry, but instead he squared his shoulders. He may have hurt him, but he sure as fuck wasn't going to do it again. He was going to make sure this afternoon was great, and that they'd have fun every time they saw each other. He was going to be the sun to Brett, just like Brett was to him. 
He'd just have to do better at managing to do everything right. 

And they did have fun. After a while they relaxed into it again, and Eddy could feel his spirits lifting. Playing the duets was awesome, of course. And by the end, when Brett smiled at him, he couldn't be sure but he thought the smile was genuine. 
He hoped it was genuine. 
¨So, Saturday!¨ he said, enthusiastically. ¨Wanna do it like last time again? You come to me, we warm up, we walk over there?¨
Brett nodded and seemed to hesitate before he spoke. 
¨Erm, will... will Lily come to watch?¨
Eddy closed his eyes briefly. Shit. 
¨No.¨ he said then, and he looked at Brett, imploring him to be okay. 
¨Brett, do you want me to blow her off? I don't have to go to the dance.¨
Brett shook his head so suddenly and so vehemently that Eddy was taken aback. 
¨No, Eddy, absolutely not! You go to the dance, you have fun! I'm happy for you.¨
Eddy nodded despondently. ¨Well, I'll see you before then anyway.¨
Brett nodded as well and smiled. 
¨Yeah. Should be good!¨

When Eddy walked home a few minutes later there were too many thoughts in his head to sort through them all. 
He went straight to his room, sat on his bed and wrapped his arms around himself. 
He really just didn't know what was right or what was wrong anymore.