Blue's Rose

Chapter 18 Boys Will Reveal

                                                                      Kool

Kulap stared at Blue. He didn't want to answer him. He didn't want to say the words out loud. He also didn't want to ruin what was developing between them. But he knew it would, just like he knew he had no choice but tell the truth. Lying to Blue was an unacceptable concept to Kulap. It had no place in their relationship. If they even still had one once he answered.

Sucking air into his lungs, Kulap started to reply when the sudden arrival of the older lady with their bowls of food stopped him. Her withered smiling face cautioned them in a motherly manner to be careful of the hot tableware as she placed it in front of them. Blue and Kulap both smiled back at her and offered her their thanks. Kulap could not help notice Blue's smile was more perfunctory than genuine. His unhappiness hurting Kulap deep inside, knowing he was the cause.

With their food now in front of them, Kulap wasn't sure how to proceed. Should he wait? Should he let Blue eat and them recommence their conversation? Kulap, usually always knew how to react and when to react, had timing down to a science when it came to big money deals and hardcore businessmen, but he didn't have a clue how to proceed in this moment. He felt confused and not a little lost.

He stirred at his food with his chopsticks, glancing up at Blue, gauging his mood. Blue tossing at his own food, caught his look and the corner of his lips tilted up in a cheerless smile.

"You can go ahead and answer," he prompted Kulap, taking a bite of his food, his eyes, Kulap noticed not lighting up in pleasure of what he knew to be the tastiest pad Thai in Bangkok. Kulap wondered if he even realized he had taken a bite at all for all the notice he was given to the food.

"Stop eating," he urged softly, sticking his hand out and grabbing at the chopsticks in Blue's hands. For some reason watching Blue eat with zero enjoyment was hitting him hard. He couldn't keep prolonging this for Blue's sake.

Placing the chopsticks down on a napkin beside Blue's bowl and then laying his own down, he looked up at Blue.

Looking him directly in the eye, Kulap said, "Yes. Yes, I am going to marry her."

Kulap swallowed. He saw the flash of pain in Blue's large dark eyes, before he shaded them with his long thick lashes, shutting Kulap out.

Nodding his head once, then again, and then again, several times in short little bursts, Blue appeared to be having some sort of internal dialogue with himself inside his head. Kulap didn't interrupt him, mostly because he was, too afraid to. Blue's always animated face was currently devoid of expression. His unBlue-like behavior was unnerving to watch.

"Okay!" Blue suddenly said, looking up at Kulap. "Okay, I see," he said again still with the head nodding. His face was lightly flushed, his mouth tilted in what could be interpreted as a smile if one didn't know him very well. From the outside he appeared to be taking Kulap's answer in his stride. If one didn't know him better, being the operative choice of words. Kulap knew Blue. He was upset. Hurt? Angry? Kulap was not sure how Blue was feeling or what for that matter, he just knew the face in front of his was a specific choice for Kulap's benefit alone. It made Kulap feel sad. He couldn't ever recall another time Blue hadn't made himself an open book to Kulap. Hiding himself away now, cut deep even if Kulap understood the reasons why.

Kulap watched Blue reach for his chopsticks and start eating. He attacked his food like he was starving. After a second's hesitation, Kulap mirrored his movements but only pecked at his lunch not even trying to match the faux gusto. He couldn't pretend that well.