Blue's Rose

Chapter 31 Boys Will Be Pushed

Kool

For the first time that he could remember Kool did not bounce out of bed ready for a new day of work. Though life was restrictive, he always loved his job. It was something he was good at, more than good at, excelled at. He loved the challenge of making a deal, launching new products, mapping out the intricate details to make things happen! And it wasn't about the profit for Kool though that was important. His work gave him a sense of value. He was proud of his accomplishments.

This morning however, he felt none of his usual excitement nor anticipation. His limbs felt heavy and his mind bogged down with excess baggage he couldn't escape from not even in his sleep. His dreams, or maybe he should consider them nightmares could attest to that.

He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face as images from his dreams flashed through his mind. A wedding cake had fallen to the floor, his mother yelling at someone, Mia crying, Blue staring in through a window. He shuddered as he replayed all of these images over again in his head. The final picture, the one of Blue made him feel nauseous.

He would have to tell Blue today that he was getting married on Saturday. He still couldn't believe it so he wasn't sure how he could tell Blue something so painful when it didn't even feel real. But it was and he knew it and not only because Mia had told him. His mother had met him at the front door last night when he had stumbled through in a fog still reeling from Mia's revelations.

"You've been to see Mia?" she had clipped as he shut the door behind him.

He had simply stared at this person whom he called mother wondering how it was possible.

He hadn't spoken only nodded his head in reply.

"I've arranged it to take place at noon. I will make sure your suit is ready and there will be a small luncheon immediately following with a few guests," she had informed him in her still cold curt voice. Then she had turned away as if indifferent to any possible response he may make.

As tired as he had been and as hopeless as he had felt, he had been unable to let her get away with that even if he knew any gesture on his part was useless. But on principal alone, his exhausted mind had insisted, he had to say something.

"I have not said yes," had been his quiet response to her departing figure but it had been loud enough for her to hear and loud enough to stop her in her tracks.

She had turned back to him then and walked slowly back towards him, her lip curled in disgust. "If this is about that man," she had started to say and Kulap had held his hand up to stop her flow of words.

He just could not have tolerated one more diatribe against Blue. He would have broken and he was sure the outcome would have been irreparable. Though for the life of him he didn't know what exactly he was trying to maintain with her. It was becoming clearer and clearer that his mother saw him only as a pawn not a son. And after the stunt she had pulled with both Blue and the pictures he didn't think there was a chance of going back to any semblance of normal.

Still he couldn't continue to bow to her for the rest of his life for things he had not done. And he couldn't hang his head in shame whenever she wanted to throw his being gay in his face. And he absolutely would not let her attack Blue ever again. With all of these things in mind he had drawn on every ounce of energy left in his reserves and spoken with gritted teeth and barely moving lips.

The very grim quietness with how he uttered each word made his mother's eyes widen in shocked surprise.

"Do not ever speak to me about Blue again unless it is to apologize for the things you said and the despicable things you did."