Girl Meets the Mind of a Genius

Genius Meets Closets

Farkle (con)

I run into the janitor's closet and slam the door behind me.

My heart is pounding and I feel like I can't breathe.

I sit on the closet floor and hug my knees, close my eyes and try to calm myself down.

I need to think.

I dropped the beaker because my body was overwhelmed. It was so bad that I could barely even function.

This is a new discovery, something new that will revolutionize what I already know. That's what would happen if this was an experiment.

But it's not. It's feelings. Undefined by logic and without any reason.

So what feeling was that?

There's a knock on the door, "Farkle?"

"Maya?"

Maya walks in and gives me a sad smile. She sits next to me on the floor and nudges me, "So why are you here?"

"Did you miss what happened in there?" I ask, bewildered.

"Oh I didn't miss it," she teases me, "but why did you come here." She gestures to the closet.

I look down, "I don't know. It was safe when I was being bullied and felt sad. I guess it's a place I go when I don't know what to do."

"What? You're Farkle Minkus, you always know what to do!" Maya exclaims, kicking my foot.

"Even geniuses have something to discover."

She shakes her head, "First you freak out, then Riley breaks down, and now you aren't making any sense. What is happening today?"

I whip up my head to look at Maya, "What? What do you mean Riley broke down?"

My heart starts racing. Why would Riley break down?

"She went totally crazy after you ran out." Maya sighs, "She started picking up the glass like it was the most important thing in the world. She was going so fast that she got a bunch of cuts in her hand."

"Is she okay? Does she need help?" I jump on my feet, ready to walk out of the door.

Maya grabs my arm, "Don't go, it's not worth it."

I turn towards her, "Why not?"

"Lucas is taking care of her." She mumbles.

Lucas. He's taking care of Riley. I'm always the one to take care of her but now I'm not there. 

Why does the fact that it's Lucas make me upset? I know Riley likes him, it's a chance for her to tell him how she feels.

I'm not upset. I'm jealous.

I sit back down in front of Maya, "Why Lucas? Why not you?"

"You know how he is." she says sadly, "He likes saving her. He always has since that day on the subway."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" She asks angrily, "He's always preferred her, Farkle, I thought you knew everything."

"I don't know anything about feelings anymore."

I can't get the image of Lucas helping Riley out of my head. She's probably giggling and he's holding her hand.

That would be me. It should've been.

"Earth to Farkle? What's wrong with you?" Maya snaps her fingers in front of my face.

"Nothing."

"You just dropped a beaker, ran into a closet, and got very upset when you found out Lucas was with Riley. If I didn't know any better I'd say you like Ri-"

"Whatever ended up happening with Josh?" I cut her off.

I can't think that way. Riley's my best friend. I can't like Riley. Science is black and white and so is this.

Maya stares at me before answering, "He texted me the next morning apologizing. He admitted he was drunk."

"But did he mean what he said?"

"I didn't ask. I just said it was okay. I don't know what to do." She puts her head in her hands.

"I don't know what to tell you." I admit, "What do you feel when you think about Josh?"

She gives me a small look of horror, like she didn't want to think about what she feels.

"I feel like I can't breathe. I can feel my heart in my chest. I get speechless and nervous."

My eyes widen. That's how I felt.

"What about Lucas?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you feel when you're with him."

Maya looks down at her feet, "I...."

She looks up at me. I can see her starting to cry. She's sad and confused.

We both are.

"I don't feel anything."

"Oh."

Maya turns to face me "What do you feel...when you're with Smackle?"

I scan my brain, searching for some kind of answer. I have to have something in there. I'm a genius, I should know everything.

But she asked about feelings. I don't know those, so I stop thinking.

"Nothing."

Oh no. I've never thought about this. I've never thought about how I feel about Smackle. I don't feel anything. Why don't I feel anything?

"Farkle?" I can't bare to look at her.

"Farkle, look at me." I shake my head.

"Farkle!" I snap up and look at Maya.

"I don't think I really like Lucas," she sighs, "and I don't think you really like Smackle."

"No...no. She and I are geniuses. We're meant to be. Why wouldn't we be? Why would you say that?" I can't breathe, "You're wrong Maya. You have to be."

"Farkle, think about it." Maya stands up and begins pacing, "You are I are the same. We don't know what we feel for other people."

She looks down at me, "If what I said I feel when I think of Josh is me liking him, then your little spell in there must mean you feel something for Ri-"

I get up, "I have to go."

"Wait, Farkle! We need to talk about Ri-"

I slam the closet door.

I start running through the halls. This can't be happening. I can't sit still.

I bolt to my locker. I'm getting my stuff and going home to clear my head.

Turning the corner, I run right into something hard and fall on the floor.

Lucas.

"Whoa, Farkle, buddy, calm down." He extends his hand out and pulls me up.

I can't look him in the eye. Not knowing what I know.

Another person rounds the corner, "Lucas, you're my savior, I...Farkle?"

Riley is right behind me. I turn to see a bewildered look on her face. She's just as freaked out as I am.

"Are you okay?" 

Riley's hand is wrapped in a huge white gauze. She really hurt herself.

"I'm fine."

I can't breathe. I don't know what to say. I have to leave.

"I'm so sorry Riley...I have to go."

She looks deep into my eyes. She's trying to figure out what's happening in my head. But she can't crack the mind of a genius. No one can.

Right?