Yours Truly || Varian X Reader Oneshots

27|| Incorrect Quotes

[Name]: Tell me a random thing about space.
Varian: Abraham Lincoln is president of Mars.
[Name]: What the?
Varian: I don't know, Rapunzel said it and it's been haunting me ever since

🙏🪐☄️✨

Eugene: The only time you seem honest is when you're insulting someone!
Cassandra: The only honest things I can say to you are insults.

👁👄👁💧

Varian: Fine! I'll admit it, I was wrong.
[Name], smugly: Yes, you were. and what does that make you?
Varian, sighing: A clown.
[Name]: And what do you wear?
Varian: ...Clown shoes.
[Name]: Exactly!

🤡 👞 👞 🎉

[Name]: [sniffing]
[Name]: Something's changed.
Varian: Oh, it's a new cologne. My barber suggeste-
[Name]: No, not you! I know what you smell like.

👀👉👈✨

Rapunzel: I have faith in you.
Varian, genuinely confused: Why?

👁👄👁💅

Varian: Our first year as a married couple and we're still in love.
[Name]: In your face, those who said we wouldn't last a year!
Eugene: I stand by my wedding toast!

💍✨✨✨

[Name]: Hey, Varian, what are you thinking about?
Varian: How I wanna take probiotics and antibiotics at the same time and have them fight inside of me.
[Name]:
Varian: I just wanna see who wins!

💊 ⚔️ 💊💧

Varian: [to name] Your smile? It makes my day.
Eugene: [to Rapunzel] Your happiness? I live for that.
Cassandra: Hotel? Trivago.

👁👄👁🙏

[Name]: Varian, I never doubted you for a moment!
Varian: Thank you, [Name]. You're lying, though, right?
[Name]: Oh, yes. I doubted you very strongly.

✊🙏💧✨

Varian: Oh, look! It's [Name]!
Varian: Oh, no! You can't let them see me like this!
Varian: Like what? You look great.
Varian, mortified: [takes a deep breath] I'm not wearing cool socks today.

🧦👀✊💧

Varian: Has anyone seen my partner?
Cassandra: What do they look like?
Varian, sobbing: BEAUTIFUL.

💕💖💓✨

Rapunzel: Wow, Varian, you're a genius!
Varian: Yeah, I get called that a lot.
Rapunzel: What, a genius?
Varian: No, "Varian".

👁👄👁💦

Cassandra: You have to pick your battles.
Eugene: One of the battles that we picked was to stop Varatos and [Name] from running plastic tubes all over the house and placing hamsters inside of them.
Rapunzel: They were gonna call it Tube City.

—
How does everyone feel today? I thought of making the whole book gender neutral and changing the pronouns and smuck. How do you all feel about me changing (y/n) to [Name]?