Famous In Love

32

Abby stood with her arms wide open on her porch as she saw her daughter getting out of the car. Clarke set her bags aside and hugged her mom first. “Hi mom.” Clarke said while she inhaled the scent of her mom she had missed too long. When they pulled away, Abby cupped Clarke’s face. “What’s wrong sweetheart? If that worry on your face doesn’t disappear fast, you might end up with more wrinkles than me.” Abby said while she rubbed the wrinkles of Clarke’s forehead away with a kind smile and Clarke forced to smile back. “Come on. Let’s get inside.” Abby said while she took one of Clarke’s bags and Clarke took the other one. Every time Clarke came back to the house she grew up in, a hole formed inside her. A hole that formed the day of the car accident. It never filled but while she wasn’t here, she could forget about it easier. She could see her past in front of her. How her dad and her were sitting by the fireplace, him learning her how to play guitar. Or all three of them sitting around the kitchen table, laughing about a joke he just made. Abby saw Clarke staring at the places when she noticed her daughter hadn’t followed her on the stairs. The feeling of Abby’s gaze made Clarke snap back to realisation and she looked back at her mom. She could see the worry on her face and knew sooner or later they would talk about it. But for now Clarke just followed her mom upstairs to her room, although she perfectly knew where it was. “I made your bed when you texted me you were on the way.” Abby said and Clarke could see the fresh covers on her bed. “Thanks mom.” Clarke said and she set her bag on the ground so she could walk over to the bed and touch the soft material her blanket with her fingertips. “I’ll let you settle for a moment while I make dinner.” Abby said and she shut the door behind her. Clarke took the pillow of the bed and brought it to her nose to smell it. She loved the smell of freshly washed sheets and especially at her home because it’s still the same lotion as when she was a kid. She laid the pillow back when a photo caught her eye. She walked over to her desk to watch it from closer. 

Seeing her dad on the photo made her think of Lexa again and the whole situation behind it. Tears filled her eyes and she quickly set the picture back on the desk before going downstairs again. “Can I help?” She asked when she saw her mother cooking in the kitchen. “You don’t have to.” Abby said while she was cutting some carrots. “I want to. That’s why I asked.” Clarke said and she took over the knife and cut the carrots in her mother’s place. Abby gave her a kiss on the head before she started to set the table. After a while the food was ready and they sat down around the table. Abby poured a glass of wine for both of them before they started to eat. “How’s the tour planning going?” Abby asked and Clarke played more with her food than that she ate of it. “It’s alright.” 
“It surprised me when you texted me that you came now. Aren’t you busy?”
“We are on schedule so they can miss me for a day or two.” Clarke said and she noticed how quiet it was here, with just the two of them. It didn’t happen often that it was just the two of them. Every Christmas, Raven joined them because Raven didn’t had any other family besides the band and Abby. Her mother drank herself to death and her father  left after her birth. After Clarke and Raven met through ex boyfriend Finn Collins and became best friends, Raven spended every Christmas with them because Jake and Abby insisted when Clarke told them about her. Jake and Raven had a good bound. Both knew how to work with their hands and there were many discussions of who was best. Thinking back of that reminded Clarke that she still needs to tell Raven about the whole situation. “What’s going on in your head?” Abby asked and it got Clarke out of her thoughts. “I’m sorry.” Clarke said and Abby reached for her hand over the table. “Honey, I’m worried about you. You know you can tell me anything right?” Abby said and Clarke knew it was true. Abby was very open and it leaded to awkward situations sometimes, especially on the term of relationships. “I went to Big Tujunga Canyon Road.” Clarke said and Abby froze for a moment. “I thought you didn’t want to see where it happened so you couldn’t imagine it.?” 
“I didn’t. I didn’t know I was there.” Clarke said and Abby looked at her with a questionable face. “Did you know that the couple in the car, had two children?” Clarke continued after her mom didn’t say anything. “No. I didn’t. How do you know?”
“Because I know one of them. I know them both actually. But I’m closer to the other one and she took me there to share the spot where her parents died. When she mentioned the road and the date I knew who was standing in front of me.” Clarke said with tears in her eyes and Abby couldn’t bring a word out because she was too shocked. “She didn’t even know that there was another victim.” Clarke said and her voice started to sound different of the tears she tried to hold back. “Is she your friend?” Abby asked and Clarke nodded. “I can’t even look at her anymore without thinking of him, mom.” Clarke sobbed and Abby got up from her chair to hug her daughter from behind. “I know it’s not her fault but I don’t know what to do anymore.” Clarke sobbed and Abby shushed her. “Look at me.” She said while she sat next to Clarke, cupping her cheeks again and wiping her tears away. “Sometimes we need to let go, Clarke. Letting go doesn’t mean we stop loving that person but holding on too tight can suffocate you. He’s not going to come back if you talk to that girl or not. It doesn’t change anything. It isn’t her fault. Your father wouldn’t want you to stop living your life at the fullest and spend it with the people you love. Even if that person is related to the cause of his death. She couldn’t prevent it.” 
“I’m trying. But it’s so hard ignore it.” 
“I’m not saying you should ignore it. Face it. It’s not her fault. Do you know why they lost control over the car?” 
“Because her dad was an alcoholic and her mother didn’t have her license.” 
“Exactly. It might be her dad’s own fault but she lost her mother there too while she was innocent just like your dad. She lost both her parents and only one she could blame for it. She’s in pain, Clarke. Just like you are.” Abby said and Clarke thought of it. “Now do you want to cuddle while watching a romantic movie and crying our eyes out?” Abby suggested and Clarke nodded.