Famous In Love

51

Lexa couldn’t sleep. She was wide awake and looked at her side where Costia was sleeping. She had expected to feel different, better. After Costia broke up with her she was devastated and only wanted her back. But now thing have changed and right at the moment she thought she accepted the breakup, Costia came back. Shouldn’t she be happy then? She expected to feel happier, more clearance in her head but it was exact the same as before, even worse. Lexa sat up, her bare feet touching the cold floor tiles. She shuddered when she felt the cold air against her naked skin but didn’t cover her body. She just sat there and stared out of the window, thinking of Clarke. What would she be doing right now? Is she with Bellamy? How would she react if she knew of her and Costia? Lexa was so lost in thoughts, she hadn’t head Costia calling out her name. It wasn’t until she felt lips against her shoulder, she noticed Costia was awake. “Why are you awake? It’s the middle of the night.” Costia asked with sleepy voice while she rested her chin on the brunette’s shoulder while closing her eyes again. “I couldn’t sleep. Actually I was thinking of going for a run.” Lexa said and it made Costia look up in surprise. “A run?! Now? Lexa, it’s the middle of the night.” 
“I’m aware yes and I’m also aware that I don’t feel like sleeping.” 
“I can make you tired.” Costia said on seductive tone while she started kiss starting from Lexa’s shoulder up to her neck again but Lexa got up from the bed, out of reach of Costia. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” Lexa said and she quickly pecked Costia’s lips before putting her sport clothes on and leaving the house for a run.

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Meanwhile the sun had started to rise already. She ran through the city, up to the road where her parents crashed. She stopped at the tree where they died. No, it’s changed by now. The place that caused parents to die and Clarke’s dead. Lexa noticed she didn’t know much of him. She didn’t even know his name. She carefully touched the bark of the tree. It wasn’t the same tree anymore. The other one got destroyed in the accident. Another victim. Lexa sat down and leaned her back against the tree. She came here when she wanted to be as close as her parents as she could. And strangely enough it weren’t their gravestones that made her feel close to them. It was right here. The place where they let out their last breath. The place where their heart stopped and where a doctor confirmed their dead and any help was too late. Would Clarke have a place where she felt the most close to her dad? Lexa took her phone and went to her contacts. Without realising she opened Clarke’s chat. For a moment she just stared at it, debating if she should text her or not. A part wanted her to but it didn’t feel right anymore. Instead she scrolled back to earlier conversations at the beginning of Arkadia’s tour. 

Her heart ached when she read those texts back because now it wasn’t the same at all anymore but she wanted it to be. Lexa felt guilty when she realised she was thinking of Clarke the whole time instead of Costia who was waiting for her at home. Lexa went to her contacts now and clicked on Luna’s name to call her cousin and she was relieved when she heard Luna’s sleepy voice. “Lexa? Is everything okay?” Luna asked and Lexa couldn’t answer right away on that question. “I’m okay yeah.” 
“Why are you calling? It’s past midnight here and morning for you.” 
“I need to tell you something.” Lexa said and it was quiet for a few seconds. “Okay.” Luna answered then and Lexa could hear the suspicion in her voice. “I’m seeing Costia again.” Lexa said and again it was quiet for a few seconds. “What?” Luna asked and Lexa noticed the sleepy voice was gone, like that sentence woke her up. “She came over last night. Slightly drunk and I didn’t want to send her home like that.” 
“Why did she come over?” 
“Because she loves me.” Lexa said with a sigh. “You mean that she loves you ‘again’.” Luna pointed out and Lexa didn’t respond for a few seconds. “She said something that after 4 years she lost sight of that love. She didn’t realise it anymore and when she was gone she realised that I was her home.” Lexa explained what Costia said to her. “So you fucked her.” Luna said and Lexa choked at the boldness of her cousin. Luna waited for Lexa’s respond so Lexa didn’t have another choice than the answer something. “That’s none of your business.” Lexa said to dodge that part of the story and she heard Luna laugh. “It’s clear that you did. So what are you just calling for?” 
“I don’t know I just wanted to tell you.” 
“Okay and you did. So what now? Do you want my blessing or something?” 
“I just want to know your thoughts.” 
“It’s not my relationship. You know how you feel, no one else can tell you that. So if you really love Costia then I hope that she meant what she said.” Luna said and Lexa was quiet for a while, thinking of what Luna had said. “Are you still there?” Luna asked after a while. “Yeah. Can you not tell anyone else about this?” 
“And with anyone else you mean Clarke?” 
“Also yes.” Lexa said. “Can I ask you something?” Luna asked and Lexa listened. “Does this have anything to do with Clarke and Bellamy kissing? Because I find the timing very suspicious. A photo get leaked of them kissing and suddenly you’re back with Costia.” 
“Coincidence still exists. Now I got to go. Have fun there.”