Everything Anew

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Lila

The second the bathroom door shut behind me, I tore the battered and dirty dress off of my body and threw it in the garbage. I made sure that I was locked in as I turned the shower on and stepped under the scalding hot water.

A sigh slipped from my lips, eyes closing as I did my best to clean off the filth covering my skin. It had been months since I had a warm shower, and a part of me relished in the feeling of having one after such a long time, but another part of me was scolding myself for enjoying it. I couldn't get comfortable here; I couldn't trust these people just because they were giving me pleasantries in attempt to win over my trust. There had to be a reason for it, and I wasn't sure if I want to know what that reason was.

For the time being, I let myself enjoy the feeling of warm water pouring over me. It gave me the feeling of renewal, as if washing my body was also removing some of the experiences of my recent past.  

I reached out to grab hair conditioner when I noticed it was very plainly made to smell 'masculine'. It promised to make me smell like the ice crisp mountaintops of Alaska on a warm summer day, which only made me ponder how they knew the scent of a mountain.  

Popping open the top, I gave it a quick sniff and scrunched my nose from the intensity of it. It was baffling that the pack still had a sense of smell. Considering I had little to no choice in the matter, I put some in the palm of my hand and began scrubbing my scalp. The sensation was incredible, making me lose myself in the moment and bask in it long enough that the water began to cool.

Ignoring the chilling water, I found a bar of unscented soap and scrubbed at myself as hard as I could, removing the layers of dirt, blood and unimaginable filth that was dried to me. My skin became red and nearly raw by the time I finished, but I even then I felt filthy. 

I turned off the water and quickly wrapped myself in a towel. When I stepped out, I noticed a pile of clothes on the sink. It wasn't a surprise that they hadn't had any clothing for me, and the smallest person in the house was at least a few sizes larger than what I was used to, but I was grateful for having any clothes to wear at all.  

I ruffled my hair with the towel, dried myself off and slipped the clothes on. I finally looked at myself in the mirror and watched my eyes widen at the person looking back at me. It felt like I was staring back at a long lost friend that I hadn't seen in ages. I reached up, touching the bruises on my face, over the cut along my forehead. My fingers ran through my hair, noticing how much longer it had been since the last time I saw it. Bags were under my eyes, showing just how tired I really was.

I've always had some confidence in my appearance in the past, but now I was seeing myself in a whole different light.

"What did they do to you?" I whispered to myself as my gaze settled on the collar around my neck. I felt a stir inside me, knowing my wolf was begging to be released. "I'm sorry." I said in a hushed voice. If only I could figure out a way to remove the metal, to finally set myself free.

I looked down at the clothes I wore, the full-length mirror giving me more of a view than I had wished to have. I was a lot thinner than when I first met the Rebels. Bones poked through my skin as I lifted my shirt, my arms barely showing any solid muscle. I'd like to change that. I thought. Grow stronger so that I don't have to rely on others to protect me.

The clothes I had on were pretty simple; black sweatpants that were an inch or two too long, and a white tank top that was now covered by a slightly oversized light blue hoodie. I tugged at the end of it, noticing that whoever owned these clothes were a similar height to me.