Everything Anew

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Thirty-Eight

Lila

It had been a week since Nathan was taken from the pack. Day after day I found myself unable to move from Nathan's bed, unable to make it downstairs to eat. The only reason I kept my strength up was because Evan made sure to bring me food every morning and night.

I knew I was being selfish. The others were suffering too, but it felt like my heart was ripped out of me and thrown away. The moment the collar was off of me, I was able to sense my wolf again, and everything I felt toward Nathan intensified. Was that how he felt towards me all along? Did he hold back simply because he knew I was healing?

I suddenly wished that I had known sooner. We could have shared more time together, I could have wrapped him in my arms and kissed him without the creeping onset of fear weighing down on me. I curled into the bed sheets and struggled to hold back tears when I suddenly wished I had pushed myself further, that I'd have done more. Regret poured out of me, and my eyes were heavy from all the times I cried and the hours of sleep I lost.

Another few days went by, and I begun to realize moping around wasn't going to help anyone, especially Nathan.

I left the bed and showered, slipped on my own clothes, and went downstairs to see where the others were. Every day that passed, I noticed  Evan had more cuts and bruises to his face and arms. He was fighting more often in the ring, either that be because it would help us financially, or he used it as a welcomed distraction. I had a feeling which one of the two were more likely. 

I hadn't seen Eric at all, only Seojoon went in and out of his room to check on him in a similar way Evan did for me. Markus still kept up with cooking and making sure everything was in order, but I could tell by his silence that he was greatly affected too.

I called everyone downstairs to the dining room where I was informed that Eric wouldn't be joining us. "Make sure you keep him up to date later." I said to Seojoon, and then we began to work out a plan of action.

While I was in my room the past few days, it seemed the others already thought of a few ideas. I was relieved to know that they had talked to the Frosted Fangs, and that they told Griffin about Nathan being in the Rebels hands.
"He said he'd come for him, but I told him to wait a little longer, no matter how hard it may be." Evan instructed. "It kills me each day he has to stay there, but we have to think of a solid plan. Storming in will only result in us dying."

"How did Griffin get him back the first time?" I wondered, my voice weak and scratchy. There was no energy behind it.

Markus answered. "Payment, lots and lots of payment. They didn't know how pureblooded Nate was at the time. They were just greedy for money. They barely had enough to eat that time of year when the animals were scarce, so they took the money and gave Nathan to Griffin, but it wasn't easy. Nate resisted."

The blood drained from my face. "Why would he do that?'

Seojoon looked uncomfortable when he recounted the story. "Supposedly they were drugging him up on something. Made him become addicted to wolfs bane; a lot of them take it. It makes you stronger, but it also messes with your mind. One moment you're a kind hearted person, the next you're desperate for your next fix. You become more violent, the wolf takes more of your control." I was shaking by the time he finished. "It's most likely what Skoll was taking when he lost his humanity, and they're probably giving it to Nate again too."

"Oh god." I whispered, feeling sick to my stomach. "Lysandra...that's why he..."

I didn't have to finish the sentence, because the others looked at me solemnly when I said her name.
It suddenly made more sense. Nathan wouldn't have killed her in his right mind, and he wasn't. They drugged him, and I imagined how he was doing right now, if he was himself at all, or someone different. While I was laying in bed, Nathan was...