Everything Anew

Chapter Forty-Six

Forty-Six

Lila

What had I done?

The gun dropped out of my shaking hand and into the snow, my eyes wide as I stared at Nathan. He fell to the ground, crying out in pain and clutching at his leg. Tears fell down my face, and I struggled to gasp in a lungful of air.  

"Nate." I whispered, and realized I had shot him. I shot my mate.

Skoll didn't seem to like the fact that I stopped Nathan from going after me, regardless if he would have killed me or not. The gun was empty, no bullets left in the chamber for me to shoot the monster, but a part of me didn't care.

I wanted to run over to Nathan, to fall to my knees in front of him and make sure he was okay, but I couldn't. He was still struggling internally even after cutting off his drugs just so this wouldn't happen. I had prepared for days to have him wean off, to make sure he'd be ready, but something went wrong.

I had no time to ponder it; instead I turned and ran. My wolf was ready to take control if I had to, and I was seconds away from allowing it when someone slammed into me.

The cold snow hit my bare legs, and I grimaced when my hip slammed into a rock beneath the snow. I turned but couldn't find a way to stand up, not with the weight of someone on top of me. I knew who it was before I even looked at him.

"Stop strugglin." Cal grunted while grabbing my arms and pinning me down. He was bruised and bloody, but seemed more unscathed than the rest of them. I screamed and pulled away from him, trying to get out from under him but his fist colliding with the side of my face stopped me instantly.

Everything went out of focus, I tasted blood in my mouth, but when my hearing returned Cal was still above me, seething. "Why the fuck did ya shoot 'im? We need 'im."

"For what?" I gasped, struggling to speak. My hand moved beneath the snow, searching.

Caligo looked up, making sure no one was listening when he answered. "Skoll, he needs ta be taken down, we can't do it alone, we needed Nathan, we needed someone powerful."

I wanted to tell him that it was the Rebel's own fault for letting him into their ranks, their own faults for being so monstrous as humans, that their wolves began to manifest within them. I had seen the glowing eyes, and half human growls. It wasn't just Skoll who had lost control, it was just easier to hide a monster behind the mask of a human.

"Nate has nothing to do with it. Leave him alone."

"It's too late now. You shot 'im, you idiot! You good for nothin' bitch."

My cold fingers wrapped around a rock, and just as Cal tore at my jacket, I swung it up towards his head. He fell over the second the rock hit his temple, and it was me who moved to sit on top of him with the stone still clutched in my hand. My wolf wanted me to kill him, to slam the rock down and make sure he was dead, but I shook my head to try and rid the violent thoughts.

"Do you like how it feels?" I whispered, my arm shaking as I held it tightly in my hand. "To be beneath someone, to fear them, to be at their mercy?" My voice was getting louder, and everything I had once felt came pouring out of me. "Tell me?" I screamed.

Cal was trembling, his pupils going in and out of focus from the hit, but he still saw me, saw what he'd done to me, and I knew he didn't care.
He jerked up suddenly and reached for the arm that held the rock, twisting it enough that I let go. Before he could grab my other arm, I brought my elbow down against his jaw, hearing bone crack from the impact. My elbow sang in pain, but Cal's jaw seemed to fare worse.