Naruto and Akatsuki One-Shots

✔ Deidara x Kurotsuchi Part 2✔

Deidara x Kurotsuchi Part 2 

Feel free to request 

On the way back to the base they had to walk. The babies were too young, only two weeks old when they decided they had no more time left. With both babies swaddled tightly to protect them, Sasori held Ano, while Deidara cooed to Katsu all the way home.

"What are you doing?" Sasori asked Deidara. Repeatedly he was poking his daughter's cheek and cooing about how beautiful she is. Deidara looked back to his Danna with a bright white smile on his face.

"The book I read says that the first year is when they learn the most and their most vulnerable. They need lots of encouragement and learning. Along with training their muscles. And something called '(tummy time)'.

"What on earth is tummy time?" Sasori asked, looking down on Ano. Perhaps it's where you rub their tummy.

"You put a blanket on the floor and play with them on the floor while they lay on their tummy. This is also the time when they make long lasting bonds." Deidara tried recalling the books.

Sasori made eye contact with Ano. He was a precarious baby. All he did was stare at anything and anything he could see. He was just quietly observing. "Sasori Danna, play with the baby. He needs to feel loved." Deidara begged.

Sighing, Sasori lifted the baby up and bounced him a bit. "You are a lovely cute sack of bones and warm skin. But you make one wrong move and I'll turn you into a puppet. Your lucky your father is fast enough to outrun me most of the time, otherwise I'd had turned him into a puppet long ago."

"DANNA!" Deidara snapped at him. But Sasori kept bouncing Ano as they walked. "Why yes, you want to know what a puppet is? I see that small interested smile. Well first I remove all the organs, then drain the blood."

"DANNA DONT TELL MY SON THAT GARBAGE!"

"Then I clean the inside until it's nice and squeaky to preserve the beautiful body. I fit the body with my special Human puppet jutsu-!"

"Danna I swear to god! Give me my son!"

"Then I fit the body with weapons. Be it senbon or poisonous gas or whatever I please. It's a joy."

"Danna!" Deidara stomped over to Sasori and glared in his face. "I appreciate your help but I would also appreciate that you wouldn't give my son nightmares!"

"Look at him!" Sasori snapped at the baby in his arms. Ano was staring up at the sky with both of his blue eyes. "Just like you! Wasn't listening to a word I said!"

"Thank god! You think I want my son to wake up screaming thinking of you messing with dead bodies?!"

"Shut up you goddamn idiot!" Sasori angrily yelled. Immediately, the whole forest grew loud.

Loud wailing from both twins went off like a triggered bomb. It started with matching sniffles and turned into full on screaming. Deidara panicked.

"What's wrong Kat baby!? Ano your face is so red!" Deidara panicked and started getting worried. Sasori calmed down and watched the blonde run around with both of his babies now closely clutched to his chest.

Sasori slapped a hand to his forehead as he breathed. "Brat, did that book teach you anything worthwhile?"

Deidara started hyperventilating as the babies started choking on their screams, Sasori took them both from him and placed them both on either of his shoulders. Rocking them and walking away from Deidara, they soon calmed down and we're back to normal. Deidara watched in amazement.