Someone That I left Behind

Same, But Different

Joong

Nine gave me a free access to his wardrobe. I managed to pick a few clothes that looked large on Nine, but still, it would be fit on me. We used to share clothes back then, when the size difference wasn't this blatant. Not only he didn't change, worse he was getting thinner and looked much smaller than before.

"I think P', these three would fit me". Nine just nodded. He gave me a towel and extra toothbrush. "You go and shower first, I wanted to sleep a bit more".

I was struggling to get out of my outfit. My shoulder movement was so limited that I couldn't even roll it without feeling a jabbing pain. How to do this? I was not that comfortable doing things with my right hand. Possible, but more time consuming it seemed. After almost an hour in the shower, I managed to do almost everything except shaved. Today, that needed to be excluded. I won't be using something with a sharp blade with an unsteady hand.

Now, another struggle. How to wear a T-Shirt when you couldn't raise your hand above your head. Skipped that first, I put on my pants and walked out of the shower with a towel on my shoulder and holding the shirt.

I sat on the edge of the bed and take a minute to look at Nine. If only I could look at this face again; every night before I sleep and the first thing in the morning; I won't ask for any other grand thing in this lifetime. A few strands of hair were falling above his eyes. I reached out and tidy them up carefully.

"P', wake up, I already finished".

He opened his eyes slowly, and suddenly sat up and immediately cover his eyes with the blanket.

"Why are you naked? Put on your towel!"

"Naked? Look carefully P'", I said while laughing a little, trying to pull the blanket away.

Nine slowly let the cover down. A relieved sigh escaped his mouth.

"Sorry, this lack of sleep is numbing my mind..".

"A little help..please...", I said and showed him the T-Shirt.

Nine shook his head and get down from the bed. I was ready to be disappointed when he just passed me by and took a towel from the rack.

"Big guy, come here", Nine was calling from the bathroom door.

I was confused, did I leave any mess in there? I walked with a heavy heart.

"You're too tall, it needs to be done inside here to not make a mess".

What "mess" could a shirt caused?

Nine pushed himself up to sit at the bathroom counter and signaled me to come closer.

He took my towel and tied it to cover my chest and shoulders.

"Close your mouth, this is not an ice cream", he said and applied shaving cream all over my jawlines.

Even though Nine already sat on the counter, I still need to bend my waist a little to be even with him, my right hand was put beside his thigh to support my weight. I stayed as still as possible. This proximity gave me the chance to look at his face as much as I wanted. Even with a little messy hair, dark under eyes shadow for lack of sleep, he still looked effortlessly cute in the morning.

Nine didn't say anything and worked precisely. The silence was only broken by the sound of running water to wash the used cream from the razor. His soft breaths and mine intermingled. His lips pressed in concentration. If I accidently lose my balance, and kiss those lips, how will it feel? Nooooo, with a razor in one hand, I'm not that brave to chance it. So, all I did was keeping my eyes trained on his lovely face. Can't he work more slowly, I want to savor this moment a little longer.

"Done. Wash up", his words cut off my dreamy moments. I washed the remaining cream on my face and wiped it dry using the towel.

"Your shirt?".

I handed him the shirt that I'd been holding on my left hand.

We coordinated our movements carefully, putting the injured hand first and stretching the T-Shirt to the maximum so I could put my head through the neckline and my right hand next.

I was supposed to go out by now, but since Nine didn't say anything to send me away, I just bought my time a little. My hands moved back on the counter, caging him loosely. A silent moment ensued.

We were just staring at each other without saying any word. I missed the time when the two of us were together, talking late at night, sleeping only when almost morning; then kicking the other one down the bed to shower first just to sleep a little longer.

Nine suddenly raised both his hands and held my cheeks.

"One minute, I won't do anything more, I just want to make sure you are real".

I could feel something tighten painfully inside my heart.

The red ribbon.....I really needed to find a way to cut it loose, fast.