Someone That I left Behind

Shackles

Nine

Joong was finally asleep. I could tell by the slower, deeper breaths, and calming heartbeats, since I laid my head on his chests. The reason I was going in for the kiss was to calm him down, but then it turned into something exciting, obviously. My lips felt raw, eaten and swollen, yet it was not enough. Only my sanity let me stopped from going for more. He was tired, and disturbed.

In all our early days, we slept besides each other countless times. The boundary was never cross, not once. The only kiss I gave him was on the cheek. Joong was a heavy sleeper. That's the only chance I had to look at him as much as I wanted, unabashed. I had sensed that he meant more to me for a long time.

When I thanked him in the fan meet, for coming into my life, I had already fallen in deep, but for a lot of reasons at the time, I could only keep it inside myself. So, I kept saying that he was my friend, my brother, my family; although my head was full of things so un-brotherly. On the contrary, Joong didn't think too much liked I did, he loved so openly, be possessive so openly and never felt shy about it. The only love he knew was just that, love, unbound by any definition or label. I realized, Joong was sometimes confused and hurt whenever I blocked him when he wanted to be affectionate so publicly, but I needed to keep him in check.

My thought was interrupted by the signal of a message coming into my phone. I carefully released Joong's hold from my body, and looked at my phone. A series of pictures of me and Joong appeared, perfectly timed to look as if we're in a relationship. We were followed? This man is crazy. How many people he got at this side alone?. This was what I was scared for, the reason I refused to hold his hand in public, the reason I felt uneasy that he kissed me so openly in front of the café. The number was new and unknown, but it was too clear who was behind it all. Another message came in. This time it was from the devil himself.

[Got my early teaser? 2 days. That's all you've got. If you fail to comply, not only this, the details of your whereabouts and workplace, together with an article about Joong's past mental issue, will also go to the press. Prepare yourself too, you'll be accused of blackmailing us through this for money, we gonna play it that way].

My hand shook so much. The press would portray it as if I am back in touch with Joong as a gold digger, because he was now on top, rich and famous. I didn't mind if the world condemned me alone. But, I couldn't bear to let people look at Joong as a crazy person. And what about the life of everyone else in the café? They didn't deserve to be harassed, for all the kindness they had shown towards me.

I am fighting a dragon with only a small knife. The dragon will burn everything else first, to let me see the damage, and only then kill me.

I raised my knees and rested my head on it. I was tired. This was too tiring. The iron chains that shackled my ankles for the past nine years were too heavy. The devil was again dangling the key in front of my face, taunting, laughing hysterically.

End it Nine. Then everything will stay as it is.