Someone That I left Behind

Chance

Joong

I let Nine took as long as he needed to calm down.

My hand constantly stroking his back, until his shoulders stopped shaking so much.

When the sobs finally eased into little sniffs, I tightened my hold on his waist and hoisted him onto the kitchen counter. I wanted to be able to look at him straight, and the height of the counter allowed me to do that.

I stood in front of him, but Nine didn't raise his face to look at me. I inched closer, caressed his hair and tipped his chin to look up. His eyes already swollen, nose and cheeks red. But he still looked too cute.

"Uyyy, this crybaby", I said while wiping the trace of tears from his face. "Do you think I could go anywhere looking like this? The taxi will drive off, thinking I'm a pervert".

"You said you'll move out. Couldn't be reached too. I didn't know what else to think..".

"See here...", I said while pointing on my temple, "Can't you see a bump? It's where you knocked some sense into me just now", I teased. "You'd already given me the whole floor, so why do I need to find another bed? Besides, it's easier to sneak up on you when you're asleep".

He punched me a lightly. "Pervert".

"Are you that afraid, if I really disappear Nai? Do you mean it, asking me to stay? Just for now, or till the end?".

Nine hesitantly raised his hand and placed it on my heart. His touch though light, sent shivers running on my skin.

"As long as I remembered, I always liked feeling this heart beating close to mine, that's why I loved to hug you back then, it gave me a sense of comfort...". I could sense he was not yet finished. There's a big BUT that he delayed to say.

He pulled his hand back, looked at me and continued, "yet, no matter how much I wanted to, I could never understand your heart nor mine completely. My feelings on you, changed too many times over the years. Sometimes I love, sometimes I hate, sometimes I miss you, sometimes I waver; and sometimes...I just forget. I don't know what I really feel for you now, Joong. So, I couldn't give the answer that you wanted".

When I felt liked he was finally giving me an entry, the door was closed yet again. My chests tightened painfully, "Sorry, my mistake, I read you wrong. Don't feel pressured, okay?". I rubbed his head playfully and turned to move. I needed to be out from here before my composure broke.

"A chance", his word halted my steps. I turned and looked questioningly at Nine, did I mishear?

"A chance, that's all I can give you...for now".

Nine

"Be clear Nai, I can't read your mind. Set the limit", Joong was saying this in a stressed voice.

"This overwhelming feeling, could be temporary Joong, because of the distance, the lost times, the memories. It seems beautiful now because we feel liked we waited for it for too long. Once the glow has gone, we might see the ugly truth that is hidden, might realize that we are a different person from what we remember. So, it's not right to continue based on feeling that was left in the past".

"I won't hurt you again...", Joong said stubbornly.

"And I can't promise you the same. My offer stands as that".

We looked at each other, both waiting for the other's move.

Finally, he let out resigned sigh, "I always hated this, this level head of yours that keeps driving me crazy, even when it's right".

"So, will you take it? A chance, without a promise of a definite end?".

"Can I throw a tantrum first, and then accept?"

"Sure, but wait until we are up there, I couldn't drag you up the stairs."

The smile was back on his face.

"Nai...".

"Hmm?"

"About the limit..is kissing allowed? Or I'll be punched on the nose?", he asked suddenly.

I was speechless. "We haven't started, yet you...you dare?! Try and see", I said seriously.

"Hmm, don't push me, Nai", he said in a lowered, teasing voice and came closer. I was ready to defend myself.

But, he only held my waist, and brought me down from the counter. I release a relieved sigh. "Oh, are you disappointed? Sorry, but we need to fill your tummy first. If you skip meals again, next time, I'll nag you more than P'Mook does, just try and see".

"Noooo way, I got two mother hens now?".

"No, you got a mother hen, and a potential boyfriend".

"Joong!", my shriek wasn't because he called himself a boyfriend;

but because the said guy sneakily kissed my neck, and ran away to reheat the food again.