Someone That I left Behind

Closer

Joong

I laid still on my makeshift bed. My mind still wondering about the thing that bothered Nine so much. I was curious, but also couldn't push Nine to talk about it. I looked at Nine that was reading something from his phone. Nine must had sensed my stare and turned to look at me. His eyes were questioning silently. I just smiled and shook my head.

"Can't sleep?", Nine asked tentatively.

"Hmm... haven't had my kiss yet", I said teasingly, which also the truth.

"Then who's stopping you?". My heartbeat suddenly rose. Is that an invitation? Or is he just provoking me again? Alright Nine, two can play this game.

"Not done sulking. Someone said, he'll set a "recovery plan". So, I'm waiting".

Nine just laughed and shook his head.

"Well, let start then". As soon as he said that, he walked determinely towards me. Damn, damn and double damn. I thought that my words would deter him from making a move, because I have yet to write anything on my blank pages.

"What are you going to do?".

"Helping you to get some sleep".

I sat up immediately, scared but also excited of this brazen Nine.

"Move!". I was dumbfounded, move what? Where?

"Aish, big baby, moves from here, you're too heavy!". In a bit of confusion, I stood up. Nine immediately pulled my mattress near his bed. Then, carried his mattress down from the bed and put it beside mine. Oh.. now we both slept on the floor, side by side, separated but also together. I couldn't hide my smile.

"Happy? Good, come here and sleep".

I pushed my pillow as close as possible near the edge that connected both the mattresses and then laid on my back. Nine didn't say anything to stop me. He just put the light out and laid down too.

"I like this P'. Sleeping close to you. If my shoulder is not hurting, I might already give you a bear hug. I missed this the most..."

"A bear hug? I will suffocate, Joong".

"Really? I don't think so. The night when I first saw you, I held you just as tight, but you seemed to sleep peacefully still", I teased again, and could hear Nine clearing his throat.

"Well, that didn't count because my mind was disoriented and I thought you were a dream".

"Hmm, I must be a good dream then, for you to sleep well".

Nine was silent for quite some time. I thought that he had already fallen asleep, but suddenly I could sense movement on his side, that he had lain sideways to look at me.

"The memories I had of us started to fade, little by little, and that scared me, Joong. Because of that, you were in most of my dreams, the good and the bad. The memories, the dreams and the bitter reality, all of it jumbled up in my head. I was tired of feeling a little bit crazy, but couldn't stop it nonetheless".

"Why did you leave me, P'? I asked that question so many times to myself. Because it was unexpected, I lost the chance to stop you from leaving. Sometimes, I blamed myself because it happened, but couldn't understand why you did it to this extent..."

"Joong..."

"I never change my number. Do you know why? Every day, I hope the anger that you had on me had subsided, that maybe today is the day that I am forgiven. For nine years, I'd waited for your call, with the same hope that never dampen. Even after we'd met, I felt incomplete, until the moment I got your call in the market. Because, that was the only moment, in the whole nine years, you'd reached out to me, on your own".

"I'm sorry...".

"No, stop saying sorry P'. I just wanted to tell you my thought and feeling, honestly. It made me feel so guilty that you keep saying sorry, when I am the one who need to ask for it. I don't want you to forgive me if you're not ready to. It's alright. But, my only hope is for you to say what's on your mind too. We have lost too much time dwelling in confusion, and I can't read you well, still. So, please, talk to me whenever you're ready, okay?".

"Thank you, for giving me...time".

"Hmm, but, it's not free".

"What?"

"Need to pay... with a goodnight kiss". I could hear Nine sighed loudly. I laughed a little, because being this close, should be enough for tonight. I closed my eyes with a smile.

A light kiss on my eyebrows, a light kiss on my nose, a light kiss on both my cheeks. My skin started to tingle badly.

I opened my eyes and saw the shadow above me, moving down slowly.

A tentative kiss on my lips. For a moment I was stupefied, then grabbed his hair and opened my mouth to kiss him back, deeply, with all of my being. The kiss lingered for a minute too long, until Nine pushed himself away for air.

"Enough. Sleep well now... Good night". He gave me one last small kiss and moved back to his side.

Again, my poor heart, damn you Nine!.