Vent

Maybe this needs to be said

Dear anyone,
    .    I've recently noticed something. When I'm talking to other people my feelings for him aren't on my mind all the time and I talk to people as if I'm saying I don't like him that way and I act the exact opposite compared to the way I act around him. Because when I'm talking to him, all those feelings for him race in, hitting me like a train full of emotions. And I'm kinda confused right now. Because I love him so much, but he's broken my heart before, not once, but twice. Maybe it wasn't that serious though but I don't wanna go through that again. Plus with the way he's been acting lately I don't think I wanna put myself though that. But my brain insists on fighting with me about the fact that I want him. I just don't know anymore. I wish I could just call someone right now and say what's on my mind as it comes because typing it isn't even fast enough to get my thoughts out. It's easier to say things as they come to mind, because it's really how I feel. I just don't know anymore.

                                      Sincerely ,Alexander