Vent

Tired

Dear anyone,
       I'm so tired of the same thing every single day. Nothing ever changes besides the times my birth giver feels the need to put her hands on me for whatever reason. But that's not the point. Every single day starts and ends the same, wake up at 8 in the worst ways possible, school work, being told I can't go back to sleep, and so on until it's time that I wanna sleep and I can't because there's always something/ someone on my mind. It's just an endless cycle every single day. One that I can't escape from. Please, someone change it. I can't, but maybe someone else can. It's almost like I'm stuck in a strong current of an ocean of insanity and depression with the only way to go would be with the current. But I'm hoping someone else could pull me out before the waves down me completely. It's almost gotten to that point multiple times, but there's always a last minute save. But that's the thing, I'm tired and I'm exhausted. The same routine every day non stop. I can't take it anymore. It's slowly chipping away at the last little piece of sanity I have left. I feel like I'm gonna snap soon but even if I do I'm gonna be forced to control it unless I want things to get harder and worse then they already are. I'm exhausted, I'm tired of being forced to live what feels like the same day over and over again for years. It's so annoying and just think what that could do to a persons mind. But of course, gotta act like nothing is wrong and act like we're perfectly fine, for whatever reason that acting may happen it's probably for a good reason. Ya know, I just realized something. My life, has been the same day over and over again, because of my birth giver. She makes my life a living double hell, and I can't escape it either. I've always hoped that someone would save me from the current before it's too late, but I don't think anyone is gonna save me from drowning this time. All the other times I got lucky, but I feel like this time I'm finally gonna be completely embraced by the hands at the bottom of this never ending ocean of emotions forever.

                                        Sincerely, Alexander