Vent

Help me

Dear past self,
We never got over him. We still have feelings for him. But the hardest part is seeing him date other people and hearing the way people talk about having a crush on him. And emotions are so confusing because you still love him. But you know your friend likes him too. And we want to help our friend and don't want to ruin their chances with him all because of our selfish emotions. Even though it's been about 6 months since that day we still have feelings for him. And it's so annoying because we know we probably don't stand a chance anymore. We feel like we lost our chance with him. And we possibly did. But we have multiple friends who also have feelings for him. But we don't want to be an asshole and fuck our friendships over because of our emotions. It's really fucking sucks. And I wish we never lost him to begin with. I wish things could have been different. But the past already happened and we can't change it. Maybe, hopefully, the future will be better. But all we can do for now is hope for the best. It really is so fucking difficult having feelings for him. Because we don't know if we want to act on those feelings or just leave it alone. Is so confusing and complicated. That's the only way to describe it. And our feelings are slowly getting stronger for him. And hearing the way other people talk about him and when he gets into relationships makes us so fucking jealous but we don't wanna do anything about it because we don't want to fuck anything up. I guess the only thing we can do is pray to Satan that we don't have to deal with all these annoying emotions anymore.

                       Sincerely, your future self, Alexander