Vent

Complications

Dear reader,
       Yes, I'm aware that I was jumping from one topic to another in the last chapter. I just have a lot of things on my mind and I wish I could just dump it all out in one go. I'm just really stressed and overwhelmed with all the things I have going on in my mind at once, ya know? I'm also aware that some of the stuff I talk about might not make sense, and that's ok, because it's my way of letting all of my thoughts out somewhere that's not my arm. But that should be a story for another time. I'm mainly here to explain that I've been going through a lot of stress lately, but I know of a way that could lighten the load on me a little but I know he won't agree to it because he most likely doesn't feel the same. Most of the overthinking and stress is caused by me thinking about him all the time. I know that sounds stupid but it's true. I think about the same person all the time, day in and day out. I also tend to overthink and stress about it, all day every day. My brain never gives me a break from it or him. But i don't want to bring it up to him because of how stupid and childish it sounds. I'm also in the state of mind that I hope that if I ignore it long enough it will go away. I've been doing that for about 6 months but nothing has changed. Those emotions and thoughts are still there, and I highly doubt there going away any time soon. I just wish I had the guts to talk to him and explain how I feel, but my brain isn't built for that because of a few things. A few things such as, fear of rejection, not being able to express how I really feel, and over complicating the situation. I know the feelings haven't gone away because every time you text or call me I feel like a teenage girl seeing one direction for the first time, strange comparison I know but it's all I could think of at the moment. I feel like I'm already writing too much so I'm gonna go. I'll update soon.

                             Sincerely, the author, Alexander