Insomnia

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I have forgotten how to fall asleep
I am a bundle of ocean waves
Thrashing every once in a while
Numbers endlessly repeat
And everywhere there is heat
That turns to cold, and diminuendos to nothing
And it usually doesn't take that much energy to breathe
But something in my lungs is seething, seeking
Causing me to sink in my own sea
Rising and falling, rising again, plunging
Each breath is an airplane flying
Through clouds of death in a white sky
And I am the pilot, but I never learned to fly
My eyes won't shut right
Like a lid too small for a jar
And the stars are reconfiguring themselves
In a different and strange way
When I finally fall asleep,
It is like a temporary euthanization
Comatose in the eye of a hurricane.

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