Waking up next to Hayden is something I didn't know I missed so much. I lay there just admiring her beauty. I spot a tattoo that adorns her side that I hadn't noticed before. I reach out my hand to graze my fingers over the delicate line work, but she turns over and pulls the covers up as she tries to fall back to sleep.
I scoot closer to her wrapping my arm around her waist, "Layla, I'm not in the mood." she mumbles.
Well fuck.
She wasn't as ready as she thought she was... I sit up and check the time. 4 am, great. I shrug my shirt back on and pull on some shorts. I can't help but feel hurt at her words. I know she didn't mean to, she was half asleep, I should have given her more time.
I saunter to Blake's room and check on him. I pull the covers up and tuck him in a little better. Next thing I know I'm softly singing to him.
"We fall apart as it gets dark, I'm in your arms in Central Park. There's nothing you could do or say, I can't escape the way I love you..."
I feel my heart breaking as I sing the words I love you. I haven't sung that song in so long... it doesn't hurt because I'm afraid of loving Hayden again because I do.
I love her.
And I love Blake.
It hurts because I wrote that song about her, and back then I couldn't see how bad we were for each other. Now, she's a mom with priorities and responsibilities to her son. She doesn't need me, but chooses to keep me in her life. It hurts because, what if she doesn't get over Layla.
Do you know how hard it is to compete with someone who's dead?
I don't know how long I lay there next to Blake, but he wakes up slightly and curls into me. "I love you Bee..." he mumbles out.
As much as I want to run from the feeling of being hurt, I can't bring myself to do it. Because I love Blake. He wiggled his cute little self into my heart and I can't leave now.
~~~~
Flash.
I crack open an eye and see Hayden snapping pictures. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." she apologizes before crawling on the other side of Blake and gives me a smile.
"It's fine." I snap wiping the good mood right out of the room.
"Who the fuck pissed in your Cheerios this morning? This attitude of yours has got to go." she grits through her teeth.
I let out a heavy sigh, "I'm sorry... I just- you called me Layla in the middle of the night and it kind of fucked with me." I admit reluctantly.
"Billie, I didn't- I didn't mean to. She was the last person I was intimate with before you... and she had a habit of frequently waking me up in the middle of the night to fuck. I knew I fell asleep next to you last night, and to be honest it kind of hurt that I didn't wake up next to you... but I get it. Who would want to be with someone who can't get over their ex?" she rants running a hand through her hair.
"Hayden look at me," I order. She looks at me with sad eyes. "I've told you this before and I'll tell you again, you are worth the wait. If that means waiting to have sex until you're really ready that's ok with me."
Hayden blushes and leans in, kissing my lips gently. "When I said I was ready last night, I meant it. Believe me when I tell you, I miss you when I'm away from you."
Blake tosses a bit, accidentally smacking me in the face.
"Oof- I swear you and your kid both have a thing for trying to break my nose." I joke with her.
"Aww does baby need me to kiss it better?" she mocks. I can't help but feel butterflies when she calls me any form of pet name. Makes me melt. I jokingly pout and nod yes, she kisses the tip of my nose softly and then my lips.
Blake's cute voice snaps us from the moment, "Mommy? Can we go see fishies?"
She looks down at him and smiles, "Yes we can bubbie. Do you wanna come with Bil?"
~~~~
Blake grabs my hand, "Bee look at the sharks!" he says excitedly. I can't help but giggle. I sit down on the platform and just admire the sight before me of Blake staring at the shark tank in awe. I feel Hayden slip behind me and she wraps her arms around my waist and rests her chin on my shoulder.
"This was one of my favorite dates that we had ever gone on, but I think I like this version a lot more..." she whispers in my ear. It sends tingles down my spine. At this point, she could probably whisper my name and call me a submissive little fuck, and I'd turn into a human waterfall.
But, I hold my composure. "I like being here with you and Blake. Ya know, if he didn't come out of Layla's vagina, I could swear he acts so much like you that I'd think he was yours."
She chuckles at me, "I mean he is mine, and I'm the only parent he's really known." she says placing a chaste kiss on my cheek.
I need to tell her about tour, but every time I want to bring it up, it just doesn't feel like the right moment.
Fuck it.
"I have tour in two weeks." I blurt out.
a/n: anybody see the shining? there's this scene where blood bursts through the double doors... that's about to go down.
Day 3 of straight raining. I had a burrito to eat today. I also cleaned my kitchen and did some laundry. I'm a lazy fuck today.
I LOVE YOU BUBBIES!!! 💕❤️🥰
