*Hayden's POV*
I can feel my dad gaze burning into me.
"You wanna tell me what the hell that was because, that sure as hell isn't the daughter I raised." he gripes and I snort at his remark. "What's so fuckin funny Hays? Because the last time I checked, lack of manners wasn't a laughing matter."
"It's funny because your sorry ass didn't raise me." I snap back at him.
Next thing I know, he's swept out my legs from under me and towers over me. "I'm giving you two options, get your shit together and let me help you, or don't and I'll have Blake removed from your care."
"He's my fucking kid, you touch him and I'll ruin you." I grit through my teeth. I'm fuming over his threat. I know that he's serious about it too. He's the kind of person who always follows through.
"I still have power of attorney until your doctor releases you fully from her care. Try me Hays." he says glaring at me. I technically can't argue with that, so I raise my hands and concede.
"This is some fucking bullshit." I snap at him.
"Yeah it's some fucking bullshit that you'd snap at your kid for wanting to spend time with you. I guarantee you there will come a day where he's gonna wanna spend more time with his friends than he will with you, and it's gonna break you inside." his words hit me like a truck. I hate when he's right...
~~~~
*Billie's POV*
I had initially planned to take bubbie back to my apartment and just chill with him there, but seeing him with tears rolling down his cheeks broke me. He needs some cheering up.
I pull over at the one place that gave me peace when I was figuring myself out. I unbuckle Blake and he follows me inside, his little hand grabbing mine.
"Good afternoon Gladys." I speak up.
"Oh Billie! It's so good to see you. What brings you in today?" she asks making small talk.
I scoop Blake up. "This little guy needed some cheering up." I tell her giving Blake a kiss on his cheek.
"Oh I didn't realize you had a son!" she blurts out.
"Oh no no no. He's not... I- he's my girlfriend's son." I stutter out, a blushing mess. I don't even know why I'm blushing.
Blake notices though and squishes my cheeks together. "Bee, you're red."
I scrunch my nose up and give him a goofy face. "Yeah yeah I know bubbie, let's go have some fun, yeah?" I tell him before heading for the kennels.
I notice one of my favorites is still here. Why hasn't this sweet girl been adopted yet? I take a picture of her cute face and send it to my brother.
"This one is one of my favorites." I tell Blake as I open the kennel. I sit on the floor and she comes up to me, attacking my face with kisses. I notice Blake is uneasy still, that's not okay.
"Sit." I order and miss Peach listens.
I grab Blake around his waist and pull him into my lap. I reach out and give Peach as gentle scratch behind her ear, showing Blake that he has nothing to be afraid of.
"She's not going to hurt you." I whisper into his ear and he nods, reaching out to copy my actions. The moment he pets her, Peach gives him a slobbery wet kiss and he giggles. I swear his laughter is the sweetest thing to hear.
We spend about a couple hours showing love to all the rescues, and I see Blake's countenance is lighter.
He's happier.
That's all I ever want is for this sweet boy to be happy.
As I pull up to my apartment building I see Hayden sitting on the steps. She stands when she recognizes my car. "Stay in the car okay bub?" I tell him and I hear him give me a quiet 'okay' in reply.
I step out of my car and shut the door behind me. I would say something, but honestly I have no words after the stunt she pulled this morning. Granted, it's not like her to snap at Blake, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it happened.
"I just needed to make sure he was safe..." she says avoiding eye contact.
"He's always safe with me Hayden, I might not be perfect, but I wasn't born yesterday. He's an easy kid to love and he deserves to be happy." I tell her and she crosses her arms over her chest. She's getting defensive.
"Dammit I know that Billie!" she yells with her eyes closed and her brow furrowed. She's starting to scare me. She takes a deep breath and sighs trying to control her emotions. "I need you to take care of him until I'm better. I know Blake trusts you and is safe with you. Hell, he's happier with you anyways..." she says trailing off.
"Hayden..." I start but she cuts me off.
"Can you do it or not?!" she shouts again obviously frustrated.
"Y-yes. I can." I say quickly trying not to anger her anymore.
When she speaks again, it's like her personality changed altogether. "Thank you. Can you tell him that I love him? He probably doesn't want to speak to me right now..." she says softly before getting into her own car and driving off. I swear I could have seen her wipe tears off of her cheeks.
~~~~
*Hayden's POV*
I know he's safe with her. He's always safer with her. He's happier with her. He needs her, but he doesn't need me.
Sometimes I wish...
Sometimes I wish that I hadn't woken up.
Maybe I can go back to sleep and wake up from the nightmare that is my life.
Maybe I can go back to sleep and never wake up.
I wish I could tell you that the voices were back and saying all of this, but this... this is the real me.
Maybe this was the real Parker too.
If she felt even an ounce of the self deprecation I feel for myself right now in this moment, I understand why she did what she did.
I watch my knuckles turn white as I grip the steering wheel.
I want to.
I don't want to.
I want to.
I don't want to.
I...
a/n: how is everyone's day today?
I finished a puzzle earlier... there was once piece missing. That's been my day. Just small little things.
