I sit on the floor of my studio and motion for Blake to come to me. He shakes his head no. I tap my fingers against my knees and sigh. Billie starts to nudge him towards me and he clings to her, refusing to move. I bring up my hand gesturing for her to stop.
"If he doesn't want to be near me, don't force him. I can talk to him from here..." I tell her before turning my attention to Blake.
"Blake I'm sorry I yelled at you... I'm sorry I yelled when you didn't do anything wrong. Mommy loves you so much, and I miss spending time with you bubbie." I say before pausing for a moment. "You know when you get sick and mommy takes you to the doctor, then you take some yucky medicine and you start to feel better?"
He gives me a small nod.
"Well mommy has been sick for awhile. I've been going to the doctor and taking some medicine that is supposed to help me feel better." I explain to him.
I have no idea if he really understands, but his countenance changes. He grabs Billie's hand and slowly comes closer but then stops suddenly. He pulls on her hand and she kneels down so he can whisper in her ear.
"You need to tell her that bubbie." she replies out loud.
He whispers to her again and then she lets out a sigh. "He wants me to tell you that he's sorry for hitting you."
I can't stay mad at him. I hold out my arms, "Can I have a hug bubbie?" I ask him with a big smile on my face.
He looks at Billie as if he's asking for permission. She just nods and tells him that it's ok. He closes the distance and jumps into my lap. I wrap my arms around him as his go around my neck. I pepper his cute little face with kisses and he lets out a giggle. I've missed the shit out of that sound.
Every time I have a moment, it always seems to be ruined. This time by clacking heels getting closer. I look up to see my bow clean shirt in Sky's hands. "Your shirt ma'am."
I take it and pull it on wanting to feel less exposed. Billie clears her throat and my eyes meet hers. She's giving me a look like she wants to devour me. As much as I'd love to fuck her into next, I'm not ready... so I shake my head and her expression changes to one of understanding.
"I'm actually getting ready to work on a piece and I could use the help of a certain four year old boy." I say looking around the room.
Blake squishes my cheeks, "Only if Bee can help too."
"Of course she can bubbie."
~~~~
Hours later Blake is tuckered out as Billie buckles him into his car seat.
"So... are you going back to your apartment? Or did you-" I start to say but she cuts me off. Seems to be the recurring theme of the day.
"Yes. I- sorry. I don't mean to seem so eager, I just... I miss you. I miss sleeping next to you. I miss waking up next to you. I miss those little moments where you think I'm asleep and you mutter sweet nothings as you pull me closer. I don't like being apart from you." she confesses.
For some reason it looks like there's something more on her mind. So I press her further, "Looks like you have more to say. Spill it Eilish." I order with a grin.
She takes a deep sigh. "I know we've been arguing a bit lately, and I apologize for that... but even before our little tiff, the thought of adopting Blake has been on my mind."
I was expecting some immature fuck shit, like she wanted to fuck around, but this is... this is surprising. I mean Layla gave birth to him, how is that gonna look? I can't just disrespect Layla's memory like that and have her replaced with my current girlfriend. I can't exactly replace myself. What the fuck is she thinking?
"Oh. Uh, cool. Can we talk about that when we're not tired, because I'm a little worn out from today. On second thought, it might be better if you went home." I say, putting an emphasis on the word home.
~~~~
I make my way to the kitchen after tucking Blake into bed. I sit on the counter and pour myself a glass of water, slowly sipping on it. I don't even know what to think about Billie wanting to adopt Blake. Part of me is thrilled she wants to be so invested, part of me is upset because I feel it diminishes my past, and part of me is scared because what if this doesn't work out. We don't exactly have a sparkling track record.
What if.
What if.
What if.
a/n: Aye go read Baileyy_m 's book Not gonna lie, had me hooked from the prologue. I'm in a good mood today, feeling generous.
Love you bubbies 💕
