Things have been good lately, with the exception of today. Hayden is driving me to the airport with little man asleep in the backseat. The drive is quiet... but her fingers are laced with mine as her thumb gently strokes back and forth. It's a small gesture that holds so much emotion.
She pulls up to the airport where my brother is waiting for me. Hayden brings my hand to her lips and places a chaste kiss on my knuckles before getting out to grab my bags. This act alone, makes my heart beat out of my chest. She's always been selfless and caring, but I was too stupid before to see how deep that vein ran.
I hadn't realized I'd zoned out until I hear a knock on my window. I look over and see my brother. "You coming Bil?" he asks. I open the door and wrap him in a hug. I've missed him and I think this tour will be good for our relationship. I feel his arms wrap around me, "You good?" he mumbles out.
I nod, "I think so. Just sad because I'm going to miss her..."
Finneas rubs my back gently, "I know how you feel. Claudia isn't coming this time around either." he says letting me go and gesturing behind me.
I turn around to see Hayden leaning up against her car observing our interaction. She reaches out her hand and I take it. She pulls me in and my body is pressed against hers while my free hand is braced against the car. She cups my face and kisses me. I can feel her bottom lip tremble, she acts so stoic but I know she feels things much deeper than she lets on.
She pulls back. "I'm going to miss you." she whispers out.
"I already fucking miss you angel." I reply.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, "Bil we gotta go."
I nod and give Hayden one last kiss, "I love you Hayden."
~~~~
*Hayden's POV*
I lift Blake out of his car seat and he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck. I carry him inside and just cuddle with him on the couch, playing with his hair as I study his face.
As much as I miss Billie, in this moment all I see is Layla. He looks so much like her. Seeing Layla's features in him used to make me sad because I constantly missed her. Today is the first time that it doesn't hurt. I don't feel that searing pain in my chest from the heartbreak of losing her. Instead I feel... proud. I'm proud that my son carries the features of the strong woman that she was. I just hope that I can teach him how to be and stay strong like she was.
Blake's voice snaps me from my daydreaming, "Mommy why are you crying?" he asks me.
I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand and give him a smile. "Just thinking about how handsome you are bubbie. With those cute little cheeks, and those piercing eyes. Oh, and don't get me started on how strong you are little man." I gush tickling him and he flails about, a giggling mess.
"Mommy stoooop!" he says in between laughing fits. I chuckle myself and bring my torrential wrath to an end.
I smile down at my son, "What do you wanna do today bubbie?" I ask him hoping that he doesn't ask to see Billie.
He thinks for a moment, "Can we go see grammy?"
Oh...
That was a surprise for sure.
"Uh I'll see what I can do." I tell him before getting up. I grab my phone off the table and hover over my mothers contact info. I draft a message and send it to her.
H
-Hey. I know we haven't talked in quite some time. I wanted to apologize for snapping at you the last time we spoke. Blake has been asking about you, and I don't want to deny him seeing you.-
Mom
-It's fine Hayden. I should have minded my own business. Are you still with that girl?-
H
-yes mom. I'm dating her, kissing her, sleeping next to her, and fucking her-
-sorry... I'm only apologizing for being short. I will never apologize for doing what's best for me or my son.-
Mom
-it's fine Hayden. Sorry for prying... I'd love to see you and Blake.-
H
-good. I'll see you in half an hour-
"Alright bubbie, get your shoes on! We're going to grammy's house!" I shout and I hear him run to his room. I shrug on a hoodie and grab my car keys before heading to the door.
Twenty minutes later and we're there. Blake runs up and hugs my mom. I give her a quick side hug, "I've got a few things to take care of at the studio. Would it be ok if we stayed for dinner when I get back?"
"Of course! We've missed having you and Blake over." Avery speaks up.
I give her a small smile, "Thanks. Alright bubbie, I'll be back in a couple hours you be good for grammy okay?"
~~~~
I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear before dabbing the paint brush on the canvas, giving it the finishing touches it needed. I toss my brush in the sink to rinse it out in a bit.
I sit at my desk and reply to a few emails as well as letting Sky know that she needs to order another shipment of 48x60 canvases and an air compressor.
Canvases are for painting, air compressor is for inflating my already massive ego.
I close my laptop and clean up my mess before starting the drive back to my mothers house.
I wish I could tell you I had dinner with my son.
I wish I could tell you I made it to her house.
I wish I could tell you that I was okay.
But I can't.
I can't.
a/n: my heart is just so full right now. I'm happy with life, but this chapter do be sad tho.
ok, so what's everyone's favorite snick snack?
I. Love. You. Bubbies. 💕
