"She finally told you about wanting to adopt him didn't she?" my dads voice snaps me from my inner monologue.
"H-how do you know about that?" I ask him.
"You think that little lady of yours and I don't talk. Hays, she's been too afraid to reach out to you because of the way you treated your own son. She's apparently been thinking it for awhile." he confesses to more than I bargained for.
"No shit, and I'm pretty sure I just screwed that up in so many ways. She caught me in a very compromising position at work to say the least, and after clearing that up and having a nice afternoon with her and Blake... she mentioned adoption and I panicked. I told her to go home. I'm such a fucking idiot. My brain knows that she's not wanting to disrespect the fact that Layla is Blake's mother, but part of me can't shake that." I tell him as I pour my water out in the sink and return my gaze to his.
"There's only a few ways to find out her true intentions..." he says with a smirk.
"And? You just gonna warm up with that, or was that all you had in that brain of yours." I joke, lightly shoving his shoulder.
"Keep talking like that and I won't tell you shit." he jokes back giving me a toothy grin. "Just talk to her Hays, don't just automatically assume the worst in her."
Do I have a habit of assuming the worst in her too? We did know each other at some pretty low points in our lives. I'm not the same person I was back then, and neither is she.
Neither is she.
I need to fix this.
H
-can I come over? we need to talk-
Bil 💚
-no-
Well, that was the quickest no I've ever gotten.
~~~~
Fist hits the door once.
Fist hits the door twice.
Fist hits the door the third and final time.
The door opens to reveal a sleepy and very pissed off Billie. "The fuck are you doing here Hayden. What more could you possibly say to me?" she grits through her teeth.
"I- *hiccup* I have a habit of assuming you're still this obnoxious naive teenager that you were when I first met you. Sometimes I forget that we've both grown up..." I start my drunk tirade but then I get distracted.
"Aww look at your hair up in a cute lil messy bun!" I reach out my hand to touch a loose strand of her hair, but she smacks it away.
"Don't touch me." she orders with anger in her eyes. As much as I love being a dominant person and being in control, with her, I'd give it up in a heart beat. In this particular moment, I do.
"Sorry... I um. I just wanted to tell you that I was scared earlier. Scared of my own thoughts. Scared of letting you all the way in. Scared of commitment. I've obviously had a few drinks since we last spoke... The thing is, we don't exactly have a golden track record but I don't care. I don't want easy or perfect. I want the messy and unpredictable. I want the good, the bad, and everything in between with you. It fucking killed me inside when Blake chose you over me. I wasn't mad at you and I wasn't mad at him. I was mad at myself. When you asked me about adopting Blake, I just- I wanted to say yes because I know you're good with him and you're good for him. You're good for me too... I haven't been this happy in a long time Billie. I'm sorry that I'm such a stubborn pain in the ass, but if you'll have me, I want to be you're stubborn pain in the ass." I say spilling my guts.
"Hayden, your mood swings are giving me serious whiplash. But I signed up for this. The good. The bad. Everything in between." she says with her hand extended towards me. "Come on, let me babysit your drunk ass."
I take her hand and follow her inside. She hands me a bottle of water as I sit next to her on the couch, her gaze focused on the tv in front of her. I slowly sip my water, staring at Billie. Taking in all of her subtle features. The curve of her nose, the fullness of her lips, and that spot underneath her jawline that makes her groan out when I suck on it. I can't help myself from biting my lip.
"I can literally feel you staring." she says without breaking her concentration from the tv.
"I can stop... but I don't want to. You're just so... breathtaking. No make up, messy bun, and an oversized hoodie, and my ass still thinks you are the most beautiful woman on the planet." I confess to her.
I see her breaking out in that signature smile of hers. The one that makes her cute ass dimple pop out.
"Ooo look, I made you dimple." I gush, lightly running my thumb over her cheek before placing a kiss on said dimple. This small gesture makes her blush a deep shade of red.
I need her to know that she's beautiful and stunning, both inside and out. I need her to know she's desired. Not just in a sexy 'I want you tugging at my hair while I'm in between your legs' kind of desire, but more like, you make my life bearable. She makes my life worth living.
a/n: what's your favorite smell and why? What does it remind you of?
I love you bubbies 💕 stay safe.
