*Hayden's POV*
I let out a small laugh, "Why did you sound scared to tell me?" I ask her in almost a whisper. I watch her get flustered, it's so easy.
"I just- I didn't know how you were going to react." she stammers.
"I'm happy that you and Finn are going back on tours together. I know performing is something that you love to do. I wouldn't want to hold you back from that. Just like, I hope, you wouldn't hold me back from an art exhibit that I'm having in 6 months in Madrid." I say rushing out the last part.
Billie leans back and looks at me. "No fucking way! That's amazing! Wait, please tell me that petty ass bitch didn't set this up?"
I snort, "No baby, I had a few international buyers reach out and they wanted to set up a meeting. So Blake and I are gonna go."
Billie furrows her brow and I can tell she has something on her mind.
"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" I ask her.
She blushes, "My tour is only three months and stateside, but I'm going to miss the shit out of you and Blake."
"You do realize FaceTime is a thing... and so is phone sex." I whisper that last part in her ear and she grips my thigh. "Now that I've clearly got you bothered, let me peel my kid away from the shark exhibit and we'll get some lunch." I say standing up and grabbing her hand, helping her to her feet.
~~~~
Blake crawls into Billie's lap and he eats his lunch. I'm beginning to think my kid loves Billie more than he loves me. Speaking of, what are we?
Are we just friends?
Are we friends with benefits?
What if I want more?
What if I want to call her mine?
What if I'm falling for her?
"Billie...?" I say getting her attention.
She looks up at me and smiles, "Yes angel?"
"I know this probably isn't the best time to talk about this... but I want to be with you. Dates, support, and cute shit. I want a relationship." I confess.
She leans down and whispers something into Blake's ear. He nods excitedly and Billie giggles. "Well I had to get permission from the man of the house. It's a yes from me." she says with a wink.
"I-... you are so fucking cheesy and I love it." I say leaning in and kissing her cheek.
"Hayden!" she whispers yells as she covers Blake's ears.
I raise an eyebrow, "I've given up on censoring my language. He knows which words not to say, and he knows I'll pop that bottom if he does. But, I'll be honest, I think it's cute how protective you are with him."
"Well he's the most important person in your life, and if I want to be in yours he's gotta be important to me too." she says watching him as he plays with on of her chains around her neck. She leans down and whispers something and Blake nods once again. She grabs the chain he's playing with and takes it off of her neck and placing it on his own.
"Billie, he's gonna lose it." I whisper but she waves it off.
Then I see how his eyes light up and it's in that moment that I realize that Billie has changed. She thinks about someone other than herself. She takes responsibility for her mistakes. She knows what's important to me and makes it important for her. She's learned to love in a selfless way.
But then there's me... I want to be with her and let her in. She's broken down a few of my walls, but I still feel closed off, reserved. She deserves better. Fuck, why am I doubting myself around her.
"Hayden baby, what's wrong?" Billie's voice snaps me from my thoughts as she wipes a tear from my cheek.
"Nothing's wrong, just happy is all." I fake a smile and Blake crawls into my lap wrapping his arms around my neck. I look into Billie's eyes and I can tell that she knows I'm lying, but she doesn't push me.
Billie deserves better.
When we reach my house she just drops us off, "I have to stop by my apartment and grab a few things, I'll be back in a bit." she says and I nod in response.
An hour later, Blake is asleep and I'm sitting on my couch nursing a glass of wine. Billie still isn't back yet. I set my glass on the table and pull a blanket over me, maybe I fucked up.
~~~~
Oh that feels good.
Billie used to run her fingers through my hair just like that.
I take a deep breath and Billie's perfume fills my nose.
"I didn't think you were coming back." I mumble out.
"I told you I would angel, why would you think I wouldn't." she says before kissing my forehead.
"I lied to you."
"I know... but I also know you've had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime. Some of that heartbreak being shit I put you through, and for that, I'm sorry." she says still running her fingers through my hair.
"I just- I feel like you deserve better than I can give you Billie."
"Let me stop you right there. You and Blake m, are one of the best things in my life and I honestly can't see myself with anyone else." she says and I can feel my heart swell and my cheeks flush.
This is a sweet moment.
It came quickly, and left just as fast.
"Mommy, I don't feel so good."
a/n: I just want some dang fruit snacks, coffee, and my thunder buddy.
I'm feeling very open today, ask me anything. I love questions, idc how weird they are.
I love you bubbies 💕
