Abusive Love

24. Small Acts

I had forgotten to turn off my alarm, so it woke me up at 6:30. I attempted to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. I walked to Jay room and saw that he was still asleep, I knew he wasn't gonna wake up soon, so I decided to take a bath. I grabbed some Epson salt and turned on the faucet. I added some bubbles before slowly getting into the hot water.                                                                                                                                                                                                     

I hadn't taken a bath in such a long time, I forgot how calming it was. My shoulders and joints relaxed, and I felt a little less tense. I felt myself falling asleep and decided to get out of the tub. I dried off and put on a hoodie and some pajama pants. I opened the door and went downstairs.

I began thinking about Jay, I knew he loved me, but I wish he would stop hitting me. What if he hit me in my stomach? I quickly drove the thought out of my head and rubbed my belly. I needed to think of something positive. I started going over baby names, before eventually reaching the kitchen. I got out the ingredients and began making pancakes and bacon. I turned on some SobxRbe and flipped the pancake. I heard the stairs creaking and turned around to see Jay beginning to sit down on the island.

"Are you making me some?" he asked.                                                                                                                                                                                                

"Yeah," I said and turned up the music.                                                                                                                                                                                                            

I plated the food, grabbed my plate, and went upstairs.                                                                                                                                                                                                              

"Can we talk before you leave?" Jay said, but I had already reached my room.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

I began picking out and outfit for the day. I eventually settled on a turtle neck and skirt set. I was about to close my door when Jay pushed it open and walked in. I tried to show no emotion and continued to search for a pair of shoes. Jay sat on my bed and called my name. I ignored him, but when I went to grab my clothes off my bed he grabbed my arm.                                                                                                                                                                                                        

"Sit down," he said in a calm tone.

I sat down but didn't make eye contact with him.