My Allegiance (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter 5: Two Hours Early

INTRO: After what Kylo did, you don't know how to feel. What does it mean?
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Fuck. Fuck. What was that? Why...
These sorts of thoughts swarm your head hours after you were approached by Kylo. He kissed me. He kissed me. It happened, and it's real. You've never believed in manifestation - but after thinking about him constantly, you find it strange that this happens. And sure, it was just a kiss...but from Kylo Ren.
The butterflies in your stomach have traveled to other places now, and you feel totally embarrassed, but who cares? Hopefully Kylo won't notice those feelings when you see him tomorrow.

You wake up early from a night of tossing and turning. You check for any messages on your data pad and notice that you have one from General Arkin to your group: "Hello everyone, so far we haven't heard any suspicion, but the planet Endor was just destroyed. As you should know, we had a small base there, and we lost some incredibly talented leaders. If I find out that any of you are responsible for this matter, know that your assignment will be terminated." You heart sinks. Why would he assume any of us are responsible?

You try and brush that feeling off and focus on your excitement for today. You're up extra early to make sure you're on time for Kylo today (two hours early, just as he instructed.) You lock the door behind you and scurry down the dark stairwell, heart fluttering as you pass the door to the room where he kissed you. You remember what he told you: "You don't know what you do to me." Remembering his voice sends a shiver down your spine - its seductive tone has you wishing he would touch you again. Control yourself, you remind yourself, remembering he can sense your emotions.

You walk down the familiar dark corridor to his quarters, and today, the door is closed. You confidently open it and walk down the hallway to try and find him. You look in the room from your first day, but he isn't there. When you check the room from yesterday, you find him with his back turned, looking out the giant window. For the first time in a while, his helmet is on. "Kylo?" you say hesitantly.
He slightly jumps, clearly not expecting a visitor. "Oh," he says when he notices it's you. "Come in."
You take a step through the doorway and walk to his side. You feel awkward standing by his side, knowing what you two did yesterday. It wouldn't have meant much with anyone else - you'd had plenty of meaningless hookups before. But something about him being Kylo Ren made the whole thing uncomfortable.
"I hope you are aware that yesterday meant nothing," he says, turning to you, as if he's reading your thoughts. Your heart drops with disappointment - it's not as though you expected him to actually feel anything for you, but you thought yesterday meant something.
"What the hell?" you blurt out. "I mean, why?"
"No distractions," he says, his mechanical voice echoing through the room. "If I allow my foolish feelings to overcome me as they did yesterday, I can't carry out my duties. You, in a sense, need to be meaningless."
Your heart shatters. Sure, you didn't have any sort of real relationship, but it's unfair for him to lead you on.
"I understand, Commander," you lie, holding back tears. He glances over at you, then turns and walks out of the room.
Fuck. I hate him. Why did I even agree to this in the first place? He's Kylo Ren, of course he doesn't care about me. I've become another pawn in his game.
You look out the window over the fleet and feel tears running down your cheeks. You feel completely stupid - you had a crush on your commander, and when he figured it out, he took advantage of it. And now you're required to become his Empress. It takes everything in you not to sob, but you're able to control your tears. Wiping them away with your sleeve, you decide to find Kylo.
You step out into the dark hallway and begin to look around Kylo's quarters. There are many different side rooms off the main hallway, each closed off to the rest of the world. Tentatively, you call out his name, and he emerges from one of the side rooms.
"You called me here early," you say, with a slight tone of anger.
"Yes," he says. "Come with me."