My Allegiance (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter 9: I Decide

INTRO: Kylo time. That's it, that's the intro. ;)
*tw:* choking
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Your stomach does flips as you pry open the heavy door to Kylo's quarters. Gods, you want to be with him, but at the same time, he's the last person you want to see. Your entire being shivers with dread.
As you continue down his hallway, the air grows colder and colder. You rub your arms, trying to generate heat - you've never felt this in cold in his quarters before. You feel a gust of cold air swarm around you as you open the door to the room you expect him to be in - the room with the handcuff-chair. Your skirt flies up around you as the air surrounds you, and you quickly try to pull it down before Kylo sees. Unfortunately, it's too late for that - he sees you and smirks.

"You've been thinking about me," he says, his unmasked face grinning. "Good."
"Commander, I don't understand," you say. "Last I checked, you wanted nothing to do with me, remember? After you kissed me?"
"Yes...well, my plans have changed. I am to feel how I wish to feel - if I feel anything for you, I will express it." He walks closer to you. "I believe it has to do with my power...something about your presence in my mind fuels it." He leans into your face. "And as of right now, I'm feeling...many things," he says, running his cloaked hand along your jaw. The leather is rough against your skin, but you love the way it feels. Gods, you just want more of him.
"There's something you need to know," you say, still letting him touch your face. "You're inside my mind too." He pulls away and looks at you in surprise.
"Really," he whispers. "How so?"
You gulp. "Well, Commander, you...consume my mind occasionally. It causes a pounding headache but my mind doesn't allow me to think of anything but you," you say, your face flushed.
He grins. "Interesting."
You feel yourself sweating under his gaze, his hand returning to your jaw. "Tell me what you hear in your mind." Lust shoots through your veins, and you feel a fire spreading through your body with every touch.
"I hear your voice, I feel your skin on mine," you whisper, looking directly into his eyes. His grip on you tightens. "I think of all the things I want you to do to me." His hand begins to move from your jawline to your neck, the leather pricking your skin in delicious movements.
"Tell me what you want," he whispers, sending your mind over the edge.
"I want you all over me," you whisper passionately, feeling his hand tighten around your neck. "I want you everywhere."
He begins to choke you, his digits wrapping around your neck. His other hand finds its way to your upper thigh, his hand slipping under your skirt. Your mind explodes in lust, your back arching to meet him. In a moment of instinct, you close your eyes and try to reach up to kiss him. As if you've pulled a trigger, he releases his hold on your neck and lets go of your thigh.

"Hey!" you yell at him, frustrated with how he's treated you.
He chuckles, looking into your eyes. "I decide what we do," he whispers. "I'm glad to hear you feel the same as I do. Let's begin your training."
He thinks I can just recover that quickly? You take a few deep breaths and try to calm yourself down.
You stand up and brush yourself off, fixing your skirt. He strides into a neighboring room and you follow him, trying to match his every step. Hey, if you can't get all of him, why not do what you can to get some details?

You walk into a large, brightly lit room with no furniture to be seen. He walks to one end and you follow, a confused expression spreading across your face.
"Today, we'll work on Force training," he says as he removes one of his gloves. He tosses it to the middle of the floor. "Reach out with your mind. Try and feel it. I know you have the ability."
You try and block out your previous knowledge and think back to what you were like when you first began training. I was awful, you remember. You know what he means by reach out with your mind - so you put in the least amount of effort and the glove begins to shake. You look over at Kylo and his eyes light up.
"Good," he says, "Now try to pick it up."
You try not to laugh as you fake-struggle, your eyes squinting as you pretend to have trouble sending the glove into the air. With ease, the glove floats, and when you remember Kylo thinks you have no experience, you make it drop a short distance.
"I'm impressed," he says as you lower the glove to the ground. "Now bring the glove to you."
You reach out with your mind and slowly allow the glove to come your way. You reach out your hand as the glove floats into it. You look down at it and the magnitude of what you're holding sets in. Holy shit, this is his. You look up at him, not sure what to do.
"Send it to me," he says. Your mind guides the glove across the room and right into his hand. He looks down at it, then back at you.
"You're more skilled than I originally thought," he says quietly. "You're a perfect match for the job."
"Well, you can't really base my skill off of a glove," you say, trying to direct the attention away from your skill. "Seriously, this has to be luck. I've never even tried to use the Force." Too much, too much, too much.
"Interesting," he replies. "Follow me."
You walk out of the bright room and into a more dimly lit one, with a few chairs on either side of the room. He gestures for you to take a seat, and he takes a seat across from you.
"Do you have any past experience with the Force?" he asks, looking directly into your eyes.
"No," you say, trying your best to sound believable. Your mind continues repeating 'no, no, no' because you know you're capable of giving yourself away if you think too much. You hope he doesn't try and read too deeply into your thoughts. Can he even do that?
"I'm shocked," he says, adjusting his body in his chair. "You're a natural. This is unexpected, but leaves me with less work to do. Next, we'll work on lightsabers. I won't take any data from you today, I think you've had enough." You look down at your data pad and see just how long you've been in Kylo's quarters. Time flew by, and by now it's mid-afternoon.

"Am I free to leave, Commander?" you ask.
"I suppose," he says, gesturing towards the door.
You stand up and take a step, about the reach the entrance of the door, when you feel a tug on your wrist. You whip around, and Kylo has grabbed your arm. You stand, your bodies presses together, Kylo's face inches from yours. He doesn't look into your eyes, but focuses his gaze on your lips. "I can't resist you," he breathes, and your body goes numb. He plunges into you, his lips pressed against yours, his hands in your hair. You grab onto the chair behind you for support, but then let go and grab onto him instead. He passionately kisses you, your breath entwined with his. His hand moves to your lower back, his other hand still wrapped in your hair. You reach up and tug on his hair, pulling him closer, which elicits a moan into your mouth. Your heart beats out of your chest, you can't breathe, can't think, can't do anything but be with him. Your entire being screams his name, your heart is entwined with his.

He breaks away and breathes heavily into your ear. You try and catch your breath, your mind still not able to comprehend. "I'll see you tomorrow," he breathes, and lets you go.

Back in your quarters, you lie on your bed, heart still fluttering. He wants me. He wants me. At least, you hope he does? It's still not clear what he wants, but you know he wants something. You think back to the beginning of your meeting and your failed attempt at seducing him. You cringe, wishing you'd let him lead. Well, no, I need a say in this relationship too, right? Then again, he did say that 'he decides what we do.' The fuck does that mean?

But then you remember the way he kissed you, like you were the only thing in the galaxy that mattered to him. Gods, you've been wishing for that feeling your entire life. It was like something out of a dream, a fantasy. It still doesn't feel real.
You feel a twinge of that same headache - but know that it's just because he's inside your mind. That thought still sends chills through your body - but this time, it feels right. You two have an undeniable connection, and you're set to be his Empress. You squeal into your pillow, and all the thoughts of your assignment wash away. You start to forget about your Jedi past, Rowan, your friends, and what your real mission is. You are completely, totally, caught up in him, and you can't find anything wrong with that. For the first time on the Finalizer, you're happy. You fall asleep with a smile on your face and Kylo running through your mind.
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NOTES:
oooOOoOoo a kylo-filled chapter! i hope it touched on all the right feels for you. and FINALLY, the reader-character is getting some training! it only took her NINE chapters (well, ok, that might be my fault. i just get caught up in writing kylo stuff :) ). anyways, we're coming up on ten chapters, which is crazy. i never thought i would continue this, and look where we are! thank you for reading!