My Allegiance (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter 6: No Matter What

INTRO: Kylo's being an asshole, again. What a surprise.
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You storm down the hallway, furious at Kylo for completely taking over your life. You have no idea what this could be about - well, you have some idea - hopefully it isn't anything serious. Your stomach drops as you worry he's found about about your real assignment here. You're technically betraying him by sending Master Derk insider information - of course, you haven't even had the chance to do that, as Kylo's only upheld HIS portion of your deal. But still, you feel terrible about what you're doing.
You burst through the doors of his quarters, not bothering to be polite. It's not like he should care - he's called you here well after hours; he should be grateful you're there in the first place. As if you're drawn to him, you immediately find him in the room from yesterday with his helmet off, staring blankly into space. When he sees you, his face contorts into a scowl.
"You," he snaps. "Sit."
You sit down in the chair from yesterday, and luckily, he doesn't bother with the restraints.
"I see you received my message."
You laugh. "No shit."
"Watch it," he says, his anger rising. "You've disobeyed me."
"How?" you say, your anger rising to meet his.
"That...girl," he spits. "You've seen her."
Your stomach drops. "How...how do you know..."
"Yesterday, when I looked in your mind to receive the Resistance data, I saw her, and the feelings you have. An hour ago, I could sense your...other feelings for her." Your face erupts in a heavy blush.
"Well...why should it matter what I do with Rowan anyway?" you stutter.
"Ah, so that's her name," he says.
"I swear, Kylo, if you hurt her..."
"I wouldn't think of it," he sneers, cutting you off. "But you on the other hand, are a different story."
You shudder. "Why are you so involved in my life, anyway? Why does it matter who I hook up with?"
"You don't understand. Because of your...situation with me, you are to remain faithful only to me."
"Faithful only to you? I mean nothing to you, Kylo," you spit.
"That's not entirely true," he whispers.
Oh, fuck this guy. "You're kidding me, right? A day ago, you told me off after you kissed me. No. I'm not letting that happen. Sorry, but I'll be with who I want, thank you very much."
He chuckles. "And what's where you're wrong. Your devotion is to the First Order, to me. Not to some medbay worker. I need you all to myself."
Your heart starts to beat faster, in a state of panic. Yes, you love Kylo. No amount of convincing yourself you don't is going to change anything. And yes, he's been nothing but horrible to you. But you can't deny it, you have a bond.
"But I love Rowan," you say out loud, finishing your thought. Immediately, you regret it.
"Then I can arrange something else for you to do."
"Commander, no," you stutter. "I...I want this position more."
"Good," he whispers. "I'll see that Rowan is transferred to a different set of quarters. Maybe then your temptation won't be so strong." You want to fight back, but you can't think of anything to say. He's right. If you truly want this job, you have to fully devote yourself.
"Fine. But if you truly feel anything for me, you're gonna have to start acting like you do," you say firmly. "It's not fair to play with my emotions. Keep it up, and I'm leaving."
"Hmmm." He paces around the room, then turns back to you. "I'm sure I can work something out."
Something about that sends shivers down your spine. "Am I free to leave now?" you ask, glancing at your watch.
"I suppose. No need to come in tomorrow, I need time to myself," he says, turning his back to you. Fine, you'll gladly take a day off.
You get out of the chair and walk towards the door. Before leaving, you take one last look at him. Inside, you can tell how troubled he is, how much love he must lack. Something in you causes you to feel sympathy for him. You hate it, but you do. You want to make things right.

The next morning you wake up late and nearly have a heart attack, then remember what Kylo told you. You double check your data pad to confirm there aren't any last minute messages from him - luckily, there aren't, but there's one from Master Derk. "Good morning everyone. It's the end of week one, so I need a report from each of you. Please enclose what data you've received throughout the week. Thank you." What data have I received? You panic. The only thing you've learned is that Kylo Ren is an incredible manipulator. You open a new message to Master Derk and write: "My first week with the First Order has been quite an eventful one. Commander Ren demonstrated the power of the First Order by demonstrating its ability to destroy entire planets. I also learned about how the Force can be used for manipulation." Gods, I hope that's good enough. Yes, it's vague. But what else could you write? 'Oh, yeah, I learned that Kylo Ren has the ability to make me horny.' You'd be sent off the ship faster than you'd lost your dignity.

You decide to check up on Myra. You would see Rowan, but after learning that Kylo can sense that, you decide against it. You walk down the stairs to Myra's room and open the door. She and James are inside, looking at their data pads.
"Oh hi!" Myra says, excited to see you.
"Hey," you say, surprised. "Aren't you both supposed to be at work?"
"You caught us at our lunch break!" Myra says. "Did you see the message from Master Derk?"
"Yeah, I sent in my report about a half an hour ago."
James and Myra look at each other. "Not that one," James says hesitantly. "Did you get the one after it?"
"I haven't checked," you say. "What's it about?"
"Apparently someone isn't following the orders," Myra says nervously. "Someone barely wrote anything for their report."
Your heart starts to race. "When did he send it?"
"Two minutes ago," James says, checking the message again on his data pad. "You look nervous, how much did you write?"
"Just a short wrap up," you say, starting to sweat. "Why, how long were yours?"
"Mine was about a page long," Myra says. "He wanted a detailed report of everything you've been doing."
"Oh shit," you whisper. "Okay, I've gotta go."
You run out of Myra's room and into yours, grabbing your data pad. On it is a new message from Master Derk, the exact one James and Myra were talking about. "Hello everyone, I am thoroughly impressed with some of your reports. To those who gave me what I asked for, thank you. However, one of you barely gave me anything, and you have been contacted separately. As a reminder: your report is a direct reflection of your work. A short report means you are not taking this seriously, or, something far worse. The Resistance needs all the data it can get."

You click out of the message and see another one from Master Derk, just for you. You take a deep breath and open it. "Hello, I have read through your report and am completely disappointed. I gave you the toughest assignment for a reason - I knew you could handle it. Now, I am not entirely sure. Another report like this will have you taken from the Finalizer. We need someone in that position who can handle the job. I have also heard from one of your group-mates that there is suspicion you are not staying 'on-task' in your assignment. If I hear another complaint like this, know that you will suffer the consequences."
You curse Tony and you curse yourself. Gods, what the fuck? Of course Tony told Master Derk his theories about me and Kylo. At the same time, you're angry with yourself. You should've known. That's the whole point of you being here - giving the data back to Master Derk. But it's hard when you're literally on track to becoming the Sith Empress. Is it even worth it? You feel disgusted with yourself - you're simultaneously betraying your friends and Kylo.

But your anger rises when you think of Kylo. He got me into this mess. If I'd just become is stupid little assistant like the job described, this wouldn't have been so difficult. And there's the added layer that I'm in love with him. Your feelings about Kylo send your head spinning - you want everything about him, but you're completely betraying him, and it's eating you alive.

You finally come to a conclusion: you have to take this job seriously. No more messing around with Rowan or with Kylo, you need to follow his commands and then bring the data back to Master Derk. Because without the data, you don't have a reason to be here. As stupid as it seems, you can't stand the thought of being sent away from Kylo. Gods, one week in and you're already head over heels for a man who's done nothing but dismiss you. And, you're close to losing him altogether if you don't get your act together. Placing your data pad back on your table, you look at yourself in your tiny mirror.
You can't lose this position, you tell yourself. So you'll do everything Kylo says to keep it. No matter what.
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NOTES:
a little less kylo this time, i wanted to spend more time establishing the whole reason that the reader is here! also, i've changed my upload schedule from everyday to every other day - i needed some more time to finalize the plot. alright! see you again on wednesday :)