My Allegiance (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter 26: Paranoia

INTRO: You aren't seeing Kylo today, but you still think about him constantly. Plus, you've got your choice to worry about.
-
You wake up early and see a message from Myra on your data pad: "I have the day off! Wanna hang out?" You respond and accept, then ask if you can meet at the South Hangar. She accepts, so you quickly get dressed, grab your data pad, and hurry out the door.

You spot Myra on the far side of the large room so you hurry across it to get to her. The South Hangar is always deserted; they only use it for older ships or repairs. It's commonly used for hangouts, but you've only been here a few times before.

"Finally!" she exclaims, standing up to hug you. You sit down beside her, facing the opening looking out towards the blank starry sky.
"How have you been?" you ask.
"Well," she says, excitedly. "James and I hooked up last night!"
"Oh shit," you gasp. "That was fast!"
"Right? But hey, we've known each other for a long time."
"Oh, for sure!" you say. "Myra, that's so exciting, I'm so happy for you!"
"Yeah! I really hope this is a long term thing, I mean, you remember when we first came here? Gods, even the day we were chosen? I noticed him, I remember it perfectly. He's so cute, right?"
You laugh. "Uh, I guess he is?" you respond, not sure what to say.
"He so totally is," she smiles. "Anyways, I wanna hear about your life. How's...uh..."
"Kylo Ren," you say, finishing her thought. Saying 'Kylo' instead of 'Commander' feels very weird to you - you've only called him that to him, never to anyone else.
"Oh," she exclaims. "Yeah, how is he?"
"Fine, I guess."
"I remember you told me you kind of like him...has that gone anywhere?" she asks, trying to find the right words to say.
You chuckle. "Yeah, it has."

Fuck it. You figure you don't know your future: either you won't see Myra ever again, or you won't see Kylo ever again...so why not just tell her what's going on? Might as well, while you still can.

"No way!" she exclaims, playfully shoving your arm. "How so?"
"We've been...hooking up for the last few months," you respond slowly.
"I'm sorry...months?" she laughs, her eyes widening. "And you didn't tell me?"
"I didn't want to!" you laugh. "I was embarrassed. It looks bad, you know, hooking up with your boss."
"That's crazy!" she shouts. "You're with Kylo Ren!"
You quickly shush her, hoping he's not around to hear it.
"Gods, Myra, the entire fleet doesn't need to know!" you laugh. "Besides, it's not gonna last, right? We're gonna go back to Dagobah soon and this will all be over."
"You're going back to Dagobah, huh?" she asks. Gods, can she read your mind?
"You aren't?"
"No, I am. I just didn't know if he would be your deciding factor."
"Nah," you say, even though, yeah, she's exactly right. There's a whole other side to this she has no idea even exists. "I've gotta stay close to you, right? And James?"
"Well, that would be ideal. After our training, who knows where we'll end up," she sighs. "My plan is to train Padawans once we're Jedi Masters."
"That's so cool, Myra," you say. "Who knows, maybe I'll join you."
"Really? That would be fun," she smiles. "Anyways, I've just been thinking lately about how glad I am to be here. Like, think about how boring life is on Dagobah right now. And we get to be here!"
"Right?" you say, remembering the similar thoughts you had earlier. "Our lives would be completely different."
"Exactly," she says. "I probably never would have met James. And we've gotten closer, too."

You smile, remembering how you felt about Myra when you were living on Dagobah. She was annoying in every way possible: constantly bragging, talking about guys she liked, and bugging you about your business. But now, you can't imagine how you would've gotten through this assignment without her.
"Oh, I have a theory," she says, suddenly turning serious. "Remember when I fell? And ended up in the Medbay?"
"Yeah," you say, remembering how scary that was. You'll never forget James's face when he found you at Kylo's quarters that day - you thought Myra was dead.

"Well, I think Rowan pushed me."

"There's no way," you gasp. "Didn't she help you get better?"
"Yes, but I think it was all part of a plan. We all experienced something weird with her. First, I think she pushed me off that ledge. Then, James got sick. I don't think he ever told you this: he was fixing a technical problem in the Medbay when Rowan brought him some food - that night, he got food poisoning. Tony tried to transfer to the Medbay because he hated his job with General Hux, but Rowan denied him entry. And...what happened with you," she says, not wanting to bring up bad memories for you.
"Tony tried to transfer?" you ask, confused.
"It was when we first arrived," she says. Oh, so it was well before he asked you for a better position.
"It just...adds up," Myra says.
"What do you think she's trying to do?"
"I think she's betraying us," Myra says. "Taking us down, one at a time. I'm worried she's gonna reveal us to the First Order."
"I highly doubt that," you say, wanting to deny Myra's evidence. "Why would she do that?"
"Who knows," she says. "I'm just keeping an eye out. I mean, think about this. When was the last time you saw her? Saw her sitting at our table in the Mess Hall, like she used to? Even working in the Medbay? Where is she?"
"Have you been to the Medbay lately?" you ask.
"Yeah, I had to pick up an ice pack for a coworker, and she was nowhere. It's so strange."
"I guess," you start. "I just don't feel like she's that kind of a person."
Myra shrugs. "Maybe she keeps a low profile, I guess."

You try and brush off the thought that the 'rat' is actually you. You doubt anyone actually knows about your training, but what if someone does? Tony knows about your 'thing' with Kylo, he made that very clear when he confronted you, but no one knows about you becoming Kylo's Empress, right?

You glance down at your data pad and realize you two have been talking for hours, so you decide to head down to the Mess Hall to pick up some food. Once you get there, James joins you and Myra and the three of you find a table towards the back of the room.
"How has your day been so far?" James asks to no one in particular.
"Well, we both had the day off, so we sat in the South Hangar for a while and talked," Myra smiles at him. She looks at him like he's a work of art, and it makes you feel happy. You quickly realize you're third wheeling, but for the first time in a while, it doesn't bother you.
"The South Hangar? That's still open?" James asks. "Thought that closed down a while ago."
"Guess not," you say. "We talked a ton. Myra told me more about her conspiracy."
"Ah yes. She's told me all about it," James laughs, nudging her.
"Hey! It's not crazy," Myra says. "I definitely feel like someone is betraying us. I've had a weird feeling lately."

As if your paranoia wasn't already at an all time high, Myra is hyper aware of betrayal now. And Gods, have you betrayed your friends. But hey, maybe she's right...maybe Rowan is betraying the Resistance? Could that be possible? Could you not be the only one? Or worse, does Kylo know something's up?
-
NOTES:
arrgrhhg the paranoia is real!! things are happening, rumors are spreading...what will happen? haha. four more chapters left! thank you for reading!