My Allegiance (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter 10: The Highest Position

INTRO: Your best friend's in the Medbay, your ex-lover/hook up hates you, and you're in love with the most powerful man in the galaxy. Oh, and do not forget about your job. 'Or else,' apparently.
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You grab your data pad, eager to get to Kylo's quarters for another day. Your heart falls as you see the message come in: "Don't come in this morning. I don't need you yet. Come in after your lunch break." You sigh, but try your best to accept it. It's not like you'd gotten up an hour early to get there in time. No, it's fine.

You decide to see how Myra's doing. Last you've heard, she's still in the Medbay, which isn't exactly a good sign. You still can't get the thought out of your head: what if someone pushed her? Is someone onto us? Does someone know? You try and shake these thoughts but you just can't. Living in constant paranoia is starting to have an effect on you.

You walk down the dark hallway to the Medbay, the air becoming cooler as you open the heavy doors. You walk inside and tell the front desk who you're here to see. A woman wearing all black guides you down another hall to a different room than the one you and James visited - this one is larger. You keep your head low on the way there, trying to avoid seeing Rowan. You feel guilty - but you shouldn't. You're committed to Kylo, right?

You enter Myra's room. As soon as she sees you, her face lights up, and she sits up to greet you.
"Hi," she says, almost hesitantly. "You didn't have to check in on me, I'm fine, really."
"I wanted to," you say. "I got worried."
"That's really nice," she says, looking down. "Look, when you visited last time with James, I didn't say anything, but I'm sorry. I treated you horribly in the Mess Hall. I was just stressed."
"Oh, don't worry about it. It's totally fine," you say. "I'd forgotten about it." Okay, this wasn't true, but you didn't want to make her feel worse.
"Good," she says, smiling. "How's Commander Ren?"
Hearing his name still has such a strong effect on you. Adrenaline rushes through your veins, excitement stirring inside of you. "Fine as always," you say. "He has lots of emotions, which are hard to navigate." Good thing she doesn't know what kinds of emotions.
"Gods, that sounds scary. He seems so...unpredictable," she says innocently.
You laugh. "That's for sure. One moment he's angry with me, the next he's calm." And sometimes he's horny, you think.
"I can't even imagine being you," she says. "You have such an important job. I'd been scared to mess it up."
"Are you kidding? I seem to mess up every day. I don't know how I'm still here," you laugh. "Speaking of which, how long are we here for?" This thought has been running through your mind the last few days - what if your job isn't for as long as you'd hoped? Leaving Kylo right now doesn't seem like the best option.
"As long as they need information, I guess," she says. "I know they need us to go back to Dagobah a few times throughout our assignments. Master Derk told me that before we left."
"Huh." Even though you've only been here a month, you can't stand the thought of leaving. You don't think Kylo would be too pleased with you leaving either.
"When are you gonna go back to work?" you ask.
"Hopefully soon. They still aren't telling me what's wrong, they're just keeping me here. It's so weird."
"Do you want me to ask?" you ask.
"No, it's fine, I can ask Rowan," she says. Your heart stops.
"Rowan's coming?"
"Probably soon, yes. She's been assigned to these blocks of rooms," she says.
"When does she normally come in?"
"Eh, lunch-time ish?"
You glance at the time on your data pad, and it's dangerously close to the time you'd normally be going to the Mess Hall.
"Okay. Look, Myra, it's been so great to see you, but Kylo asked me to come in around lunch. Maybe James and I will come by soon!" you say quickly.
"Oh, uh, okay," she says, visibly confused. "I'll see you later then."
"Yes!" you say, and walk out of her room. "Bye!"

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the kindest thing to do, but facing Rowan seems impossible to you. You aren't prepared to deal with the onslaught of emotions you're expecting to experience when you see her next. Plus, she'd probably just be angry with you, and Myra would ask all sorts of questions.

You decide to walk to the Mess Hall for lunch. With Rowan hating you, Myra in the Medbay, and James being who-knows-where, you figure you'll sit alone - Tony is not someone you feel like befriending. You continue down the hallway, about to enter the Hall, when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
"General Arkins?" you say.
"Please come with me," he says sternly, and walks into a room along the hallway, expecting you to follow. Confused, you follow him, but you stay close to the door when you get inside.
"Please close the door, we need to discuss some things." Hesitantly, you close the door. "Please take a seat," he says, gesturing to one of the small chairs lining the wall.
"Yes, General?"
"We have not formally met, but I need to go over some rules with you. Master Derk has informed me about your report last week. Do you know what I'm referring to?"
"Yes," you say quietly.
"I know you probably understand what mistake you have made. But I needed to make it clear in person. We are all sacrificing a lot to allow you five to be here. We need all the information we can get. I can tell you that the Resistance is weakening. With all the new technology the First Order is getting its hands on, the Resistance is unable to keep up. This is why people like you are so important. You have the highest position. We cannot afford you wasting it."
"Yes sir," you say.
"I don't know what Kylo Ren is having you do, but you need to do more. Get all the data you can get. You have the biggest responsibility, and we are counting on you."
"I'm sorry, General."
"I don't need apologies, I need action. I expect this week's report to be much more detailed."
"It will be, I promise. I won't let you down, sir," you say.

He nods his head and strides out of the room, leaving you to sit in the dimly lit office. As if I didn't already know all of this. Gods. I thought they'd let it go? Apparently not, because now your supervisor is out to get you, too. You glance down at your data pad. Well, maybe I'll get some data now. It's almost the time that Kylo told you to arrive, and, as if on cue, your heartbeat accelerates. You'll do what Arkins and Derk want. But maybe, if you're lucky, you'll have it your way too. You'll only have this opportunity once in your life - why not have a little fun while you're here? You smirk, and walk out of the room, heading to Kylo's quarters.
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NOTES:
a shorter chapter for today! poor reader-character. she's so confused. anyways, ten chapters already! wow! thank you for getting this far, i love u very much. okay, see you again on thursday :)