ethereal : it oneshots

day of no repression

pairing: bichie

"please, jus-please just tell m-me-m-tell me what's wrong?" bill asked, sitting down on richie's bed next to the bump in the duvet where richie's legs were.

great, richie thought, the one day where i can't hide it, and bill is right next to me.

richie had been hiding his feelings for a long time. so he had a tradition where occasionally, when it all got too much, he'd devote an entire day to thinking about it. thinking and talking (to himself, usually) and crying and the whole works. normally, he isolated himself on these days, but today bill had shown up. and richie couldn't tell him to go away, because he didn't want him to. but he couldn't speak otherwise, because he might end up admitting it. a bit of a sticky situation.

"'m fine." richie muttered, lying down underneath his duvet. richie started to consider actually telling him. that made richie realize, he really shouldn't be speaking. the one day!  god.

"no, you're not. something is b-buh-bothering you. i'm here for you." bill said, shifting to sit more comfortably on the bed, putting his back against the wall. 

yeah, you're here for me, and that's the whole problem

"thank you, bill, but..." should he tell him? NO! no, he shouldn't. bill would never see him the same again, and he'd lose the friendship. his best friendship. his favourite friendship,  if he was honest.

richie manually shut his mouth, thinking about what had led to this moment. here he was, next to the only boy he had ever liked for longer than three months (as compared to his last crush, evan boyles), and he was considering telling bill. what a horrible decision that would be though... so why did he want to do it? to get it over with? to just get it out? or was this the rush of repressed emotions being accepted.

"come on! you know you c-cuh-cuh-can trust-know you can trust me." bill soothed, putting his hand on what he assumed was richie's leg. it was his thigh, and the touch, despite through a duvet, just worsened richie's internal debate.

"i know." richie bit his tongue. i mean, if his brain wanted him to confess it so bad, he might as well, right? it couldn't be that bad of a decision. well, it could, but--

"it started, um, in kindergarten technically? i mean i guess everything starts at birth and your choices just lead up to--anyway. you get my point. i met this kid, bill. he's cool, um, he has a funny stutter, but it was kinda loveable, you know? and, i, i guess we became best friends? i won't lie, i don't remember exactly how we met. but y'know, whatever. so it was fine, until grade eight. um, it was around then that i, uh... i realized i liked boys. i'm bi, by the way, but i guess it's a 70 to 30 men to women kind of situation. so, nevertheless, i start, uh, i start noticing more and more things about bill. and i had some thoughts, that, um, you don't have, for, uh, a best friend. like, he's one of the prettiest boys i've ever seen, and i figured it would go away, but it... it didn't. and you--this bill kid, just got better and better looking every year. torture, y'know. and then he dated this girl beverly, and so i, um, i began to hide the uh, the crush. and with hiding it, came repressing it. y'know, um, gay repression and all. and thus began this weird pattern of hiding it until it all built up, and i would uh... i would isolate myself for a day and get it out. him and bev ended up breaking up, but i still hid it. today is um, one of those days."

bill was entirely red.

richie had referred to bill in the third person, hoping he could pretend it wasn't bill. it was out, now. it was all out, and bill's hand was still overtop of the side of richie's thigh. 

"i'm s-suh-sorry you feel like you have to hide it. y-y-you don't." bill said, his thumb moving up and down the duvet. richie flushed scarlet. 

"but you don't feel that way, and i don't want it to be awkward. i'm sorry." richie mumbled, turning his head into the pillow to cover his face. richie pulled his arms out of the duvet so he could pull it up closer to his face. 

bill took one of richie's hands in his own. "richie, i w-wuh-wouldn't be opposed to it. to us. i m-muh-muh-might not have liked you since grade eight, but i wouldn't be op-p-pposed to us dating." bill replied, richie peeking out from the cover.

"oh-okay. but, can we promise that if either of us are unhappy we'll tell the each other and go back to being friends? i don't wanna lose our friendship." richie clarified, bill nodding. richie sat up in the bed. bill scooted closer.

"th-thuh-that's fine with me." bill said, still holding richie's hand. 

"can i, uh... ?" richie gestured between the two of them, and bill smiled warmly. he put a hand on richie's face, all fingers down from his pointer on the side of his neck. richie leaned in hesitantly and bill closed the gap to kiss him lightly. the kiss barely lasted a few seconds, but after they broke away, they stayed pretty close. 

richie put his head on bill's chest, and the hand that had been on richie's face moved to the back his head. tangling his fingers in richie's hair, bill leaned into richie. 

"do you w-wuh-wanna go somewhere today?" bill asked, richie nodding into his chest.