WORDS (Book 1) [COMPLETE]

11

Chapter 11

Being an only child is lonely, I have just realized this. All these years I've never minded, it's always been my mother and I, then it was Thabang and I. I have never felt that void until now, being in PE reminded of just lonely this place is. Strange because I grew up here, I played in these streets, I had friends here but I have no connection with it. So then why do people say "Home is where the heart is?", shouldn't this be where I feel more comfortable because I have all these memories here but nothing, I felt absolutely nothing. This was just the house that I grew up in, the craziest part is I haven't been here since my mother passed. That was 5 years ago, I just never went back after the funeral. My cousin has been living here, and he really took care of it well. It is exactly how I remember it, the smell though, that changed, it no longer smelled like home.
Siya"Uzoba grand?"
Me"Yea, thank you for fetching me"
Siya"Just happy that you finally came back"
"Ndizo ba scarce, ndikuphe nje ixesha lakho yabo?"
I nodded, I guess he figured I needed closure and maybe I did. After he left I took a bath then went straight to her bedroom, I started crying because that was the only thing in this house that reminded me of her. I also appreciated my cousin for never touching or sleeping here, everything was dusty and I just threw myself on the bed. I cried for a good hour, I spoke to her and told her why I never returned. I knew she wouldn't but I believe that she could hear me.

The following day was so much lighter, I cleaned her room. There were no clothes, no shoes because her family took all those things while I was too busy mourning my mother. My phone rang, I looked at the caller id and decided I won't answer, but then it rang again.
Me" Thabang"
Thabang" First of all; why are you so rude?"
Me"Not rude, just exhausted"
Thabang" Okay"
"Hows being home?"
Me" Strange"
Thabang" Makes sense"
Me" Finally decided something"
"Her pension fund, I will use it for a tombstone"
Thabang" Your bank will be said to see that money go"
We both laughed, my mother was a teacher, she always made me work for my pocket money. Hence I have always had a job, I didn't grow up poor, but we were also not rich but we were okay. She however always reminding me that her money was hers and she didn't owe me money, I am always glad for that because it made me work extra hard even when I never had to.
Thabang" What now?"
Me" I don't know, I need a job first then I'll figure out the rest later"
Thabang" I have an old buddy of mine from high schoo, I'll ring him"
Me" Nope, but thank you"
Thabang" You seriously thought I wouldn't interfere?. Let me handle this part, then I'll back off"
Me" Thank you"
Thabang" I would do anything for you Lonz, you should know that by now"
I did, he is that person, never gets tired of giving.
Me" How are things with Bahle?"
Thabang" Hell"
"She is scared"
Me" What's the plan"
Thabang" The divorce papers pissed him off, I don't know babe, I knew it would be hard but this is harder than what I imagined"
Me"Umntana?"
Thabang" She says the baby is fine"
"I want them here.... this is my first child Lona, and I am really considering involving my parents at this point"
He hates asking his parents for help, this is when I know he has exhausted all of his options.
Me" Do it, they can help, and before you beat yourself up, you know you did everything within your power.  They can do more, it's their grandchild anyway"
Thabang"I'll call you later, your boy is here"
Me"How is he?"
Thabang" We will speak later baby girl"

3 MONTHS LATER (5 YEARS AGO)

I don't know why I didn't buy champagne for this moment, moving into my own place (It's rented but fuck I pay rent, it counts as mine). I walked over to the fridge and took a bottle of water, I took a sip then paused to look around my new place. I did this, alone, it felt so amazing. I did everything I wanted to do, my mother's tombstone, and then I found a job, Thabang's friend came through but I didn't go because I received an offer somewhere else, I took that job because I got it on merit. Not because my friend went to some fancy private school with the boss but because I applied and they wanted me. Thabang was happy for me, which finally kicked him into asking his parents for help. Within two weeks, Bahle moved back to Cape Town and they were suddenly living together. And she is almost 7 months pregnant, he is freaking out but he is excited. Nathan?, nothing there really. That's actually a lie, our bad sex had a consequences. Turns out he decided to plant inside of me and I wanted to tell Thabang, I wanted to tell someone but I couldn't because our group was somehow linked. So when I booked my abortion, I had no one. I didn't have an abortion because him and I didn't work out, but because I was not ready for a child and I was finally finding my feet. A baby was just not in the cards, I tried to call him before making this decision and he ignored all my calls, this just showed that we were both emotionally not ready.

I decided to reward myself with an early supper at Tilting heads. I requested my uber then made sure my door was locked while I waited for it outside.
"Hey"
I looked at the group of guys who were chilling opposite my place. Think they were having a party.
Me"Hey"
One of the guys walked towards me
"Welcome to the neighborhood"
Me"Thank you and bye"
Him" See you around neighbor"
I didn't reply, I just into my uber because I hate keeping drivers waiting. My solo date was amazing, I requested another uber to the boardwalk then watched a movie, after the movie I went home. The party next door was still happening.
"It's you again"
He said with a grin on his face
Me" Most people call me Lona but I guess "you" also makes sense"
We both laughed
"Yanga, but my friends call me Yanga, so once you say it then we are friends"
I laughed, we spoke for me few more minutes.
Yanga" Come over, we are playing monopoly"
Me"But you are standing outside"
Yanga" scouting the neighborhood watch, they always complain"
Me" You host these a lot?"
"Because I will complain too"
Yanga" Don't be a Karen, we already have a thousand of them in this complex"
Me" I thought I told you, my friends call me Karen"
I didn't want this to end, the conversation was just flowing. It was natural, nothing about it was forced.
Yanga"Your phone is ringing"
"Weird ringtone"
I assigned Taylor swift's Bad blood to Nathan, I was angry hahaha.
"Answer that, I'll see you around Karen"
Me" Goodnight Yanga"
I went inside then called Nathan back, he picked up after a million rings. So petty.
Nathan" Hey"
Me"Hey"
Nathan" Are you busy?"
"You didn't pick up my first call"
Me" I was occupied"
He kept quiet
"Nathan"
He cleared his throat
Nathan" I'd like to see you"
Me" Why?"
"Don't get me wrong, I am just confused since you've been ignoring me"
Nathan" You left without telling me"
Me" You invited your other girlfriend to my party"
Nathan" Wasn't your party and you didn't seem to care!"
"She isn't my girlfriend"
Me" What do you want Nathan"
Nathan" I want you"
"We did so much so wrong, I want to try again and I know it's all my fault. I'm an idiot, you make me nervous but Lele, I really just want to see if you're okay"
Me" I am okay"
Nathan" I miss you"
I didn't say anything
"Fine, I deserve that, I can be there first thing tomorrow or you can come this side. Whatever you want Lele, just tell me and I'll do it"
Me" I can't Nate, not now. I just can't"
Nathan"Okay"
Me" Goodnight"

Sigh