WORDS (Book 1) [COMPLETE]

Between hypocrites

Chapter 28

The first thing I did when I got to the hotel was to call Nathan.
Me" Hey"
Nathan" Hey"
Me" Is everything fine there?"
Nathan" Yea, Connor is still angry but he fell asleep"
"Xavier and Claire left with Viwe"
Me" I thought you were taking them to Ceres like I planned"
Nathan" Viwe said he will help, I am doing some work now"
We both kept quiet, I wondered if I dropped the phone would he call me back. I also didn't get why he roped Viwe in, kodwa he said to me he didn't want our friends to think we were struggling.
"Lele"
I closed my eyes, he hasn't called me "Lele" in forever.
Me" Yea?"
Nathan" Congratulations on your promotion"
I bit my bottom lip, I didn't know the appropriate response to this because the promotion didn't matter since we are moving to Free State.
Me" I wanted to tell you but you told me your news first, so mine didn't matter at that moment"
Nathan" Can we speak when you get here?"
Me" I don't want to fight anymore"
Nathan" Same here"
Me" I have to go"
Nathan" Have fun"
Me" Thank you"
Nathan" I will call you tomorrow morning, they will probably want to see your face"
Me" Okay"
Nathan" Bye"
He hung up, my heart broke a thousand pieces at this moment. I grabbed requested an uber and  it arrived after 5 minutes, in the uber I texted Solly to tell her I will meet them at the braai.
"Hey, can I come in?"
Lwazi" Yea, this is a huge surprise"
Me" I know"
"Uhleli wedwa?"
Lwazi" Yes, ngena"
I walked in and stood behind him, I didn't really know what I was doing here. Actually I did know but I did know.
Me" I..."
He sat on the chair and looked at me, I laughed. I was once in love with this guy and he broke my heart.
Lwazi" Lelona?"
Me" Do you regret not sticking around?"
Lwazi" Phi? Cape Town?"
Me" No, I mean do you regret dumping me"
Lwazi" That was 8 years ago Lona"
Me" I know"
" You broke my heart"
Lwazi" And you are married now"
Me" That's besides the point"
Lwazi" Then what's the point? You want me to tell you that I made a mistake?"
Me" Yes!"
Lwazi" Then I would be lying"
"You had so much going on, you wanted everything without sacrificing and you wanted everything to be your way"
Me" That's a lie"
Lwazi" Njani?"
"You have this habit, you want to control everything Lona. When your mother passed, I was suddenly bumped up tp the role of being your friend, your husband, your family, your strength and your mother. It was as if I couldn't have a life without you"
Me" You left me alone! My mother died and you left me!"
Lwazi" Lona! we were only 20!. The hell we went through, wasn't necessary and no one my age would have put up with any of the things I put up with kuwe"
Me" I loved you"
Lwazi" I stopped loving you, I just felt sorry for you"
"You pushed me Lona, you made me feel weak at some point because Thabang could do things for you that I couldn't. I tried, hell sometimes I think more than you did. I got you out of bed, made sure you attended your classes, I did those things for you and it was still not enough. So I fell out of love for you, and I don't regret it"
Me" My moth....er ...die..d and y..ou.."
Lwazi" No! No! Your father rejected you"
"That's where it all went south"
We looked at each other, I wiped my tears and tried to stop crying.
Me" It isn't about him"
Lwazi" It will always be about him"
"You don't need him Lona, you never did and you need to stop thinking that everyone will eventually reject you"
I sat on the floor and cried.
Me" Na..than"
"He...will...he...I..my...kids"
Lwazi" I don't know your situation but I am not the solution, there is no closure here. We didn't work out because we didn't work out, but you can always fix your marriage. You don't have to always prepare for the worst, it hurts you and those around you. It won't do you any good, nor will it do anything for your children"
I wiped my tears
Me" He is never home"
Lwazi" He isn't your father Lona, he will never be. Nathan always comes back, your father was never part of your life. And you need to stop seeking him out because he doesn't want to be a part of your life. It's not your fault, but it's your fault when you project what he did to you to every relationship you are in"
Me" I'm sorry for disturbing you"
Lwazi" Ina"
He gave me a glass of water
" You are amazing, you don't need validation from any man. You are exactly the girl you think you are, we all know that. You just need to stop doubting yourself and you'll see what we all see in you"
I gave him a hug.
Lwazi" I did love you Lona, I just got tired of loving you for the both of us"
"I hope that gives you the closure you think you need"