WORDS (Book 1) [COMPLETE]

3

Chapter 3

The last few days have been hell and I feel as if I don't even know when time went by. I have been running around like a headless chicken trying to juggle work and my exams, I hardly even saw my friends because it was work, classes then the library. I was suddenly some sort of robort and am sure they understood, we were all preparing for them. I think my fear of failure sometimes depriving me of acting my age, my peers will have the best varsity stories. Maybe I will too but mine don't include their type of fun and that sometimes sucks, until I remember who I am where I come from and what my goals are and what really separates me from them then that's when my fear of failing is assured by my hunger for success.

Sunday morning I woke up early because Thabang and I were meeting up for "self care Sunday". I went for a run then took a bath, I called him just to double check what we are doing.
Me"Thabang"
Thabang"I'm on my way"
Me" What should I wear?"
Thabang"We are going to Farmers' market babe, so whatever you're comfortable in "
Me" It's just us right?"
Thabang" Khanxibe wethu"
Me"Haska! I can't wait to see you"
I hung up then ran to my closet, I decided to wear high waist denim shorts, an oversized shirt and white Tommy takkies. On my way out I took sunglasses and sling bag then went to wait for this idiot outside. 5 minutes he pulled up, he drove a black BMW X5, it was made for him man. Money looks good on this guy, him being humble and handsome is just an added bonus.
Me"Thabs"
We both laughed, he hates being called that.
Me"Awuse mhle, why do you look so clean?"
Thabang"I won't even justify what you said, like it's okay, be mean"
We spoke about everything, laughed at stupid things and sang along to every song.
Me"How's the new job?"
Thabang"Mtshana! Yiyeke"
"Yhuu! Just feel like calling my Dad and asking for his help but it defeats the purpose of me trying to be independent"
Me"Just give it another month and if it doesn't work, then just quit because you have a huge pimple and it looks really weird"
Thabang"Hay Lona! Why ugeza? Hahahaa"
Me"Hahaha but it's huge babe"
Thabang"Yhuu ndayeka nolamba"
Our friendship is that weird, we are both comfortable with each other I never thought about dating him and I'm sure he's never thought about dating me we just clicked the minute that we met. He is the brother that I've never had and I can't say I'm the sister that he's never had because he does have a sister.
Me"Kunini ndiku miss(isha)"
Thabang"Hahaa why are you so annoying today?"
Me" You bring out the best in me"
Thabang"Glad to see you smiling again"
I just nodded.

Self care Sunday was awesome, we were enjoying ourselves and the live band was just amazing too. We found a bench then finally sat to eat, these three guys approached us and I recognised two from the Kysna weekend. The other one drove us, I just forgot his name.
Thabang"Do you mind if they join us?"
He knew very well I wasn't gonna say no, as much as I wanted to, I just decided to do some nod and let them sit.
"You remember Nate right?"
Me"Yea"
Nathan"It's nice to see you again"
I just offered a smile
"These are my friends; Sam and Josh, guys this is Lele and I'm sure you know Thabang"
I closed my eyes, him say my name like that confused me a little bit actually took me off guard because no one ever called me by that name except for my Mother. Everyone calls me "Lona", my Mother always called me "Lele", so when he said it, it just felt like it was okay. I don't know why but I had that comforting spirit in me.
Thabang"We should get going, check the time"
He was right, we stayed with Nate and his friends longer than we had intended.
"Guys, it was nice seeing y'all, and Nate call me tomorrow. We need to talk about our boys trip"
They bro hugged, and I just waved then we finally left. We went to Thabang's apartment, he went to fetch the face masks while I grabbed the snacks for our movie marathon.
Me"We are watching the Divergent series today"
"Also where is the beer?"
I took my mask from him, then went to the bathroom to wash my face then put it on.
Thabang"No beer, today we are having fine wine my dear friend"
Me"We hate wine"
He laughed
Thabang"True but it's free wine, and we shall indulge in this and pretend we love it"
After washing and moisturizing our faces, we were now just focused on the movie. Our silence was comfortable, we drank this really horrible red wine and laughed at how fake we both are. His phone rang, I saw it was Musa.
Thabang"Hey babe"
He put the call on speak
Musa"Is Lona still there?"
Thabang"Chief, it's self care Sunday, you know she is still here. What's wrong?"
I got up because this was getting awkward, I needed to pee anyway. When I returned he was outside, shouting and I knew this wasn't going to end well for  any of us. I walked over to him.
Me"Tell her to come over"
He gave me a deadly stare and I just laugh.
Thabang" But Sunday's are for us, it's been tradition for almost two years now"
Me"Now you have a girlfriend, she probably thinks we are doing things"
Thabang"Her not trusting me is insulting, I have never given her a reason to even think you and I do whatever she thinks we do"
Me"Khayeke, just tell her to come over"
Thabang"No, how will I vent to you about her xa yena ekhona?"
Me" Tomorrow?"
Thabang"Nope, this is our self care day. She will have to wait, you are important to me"
"Should I remind you of my important list?"
I laughed
Me"Do I even have a choice?"
Thabang" Nope, it's God, you, my sister then my parents"
"I've waited 23 years to have a friend like you, and I'm not planning on losing you"
I gave him a hug
Me" You are my only family"
"I also don't want you to lose Musa because of me"
Thabang" I won't lose her, stop worrying"
We went back inside, we carried on watching the movie until it was over then we switched on candles then went to seat on the floor for our venting session.

Me"Your friend Nate called me "Lele" today, and I didn't cry. I miss her so much but I don't cry anymore, that makes me feel guilty. Like why am I okay with living life without her"
Thabang" You are healing, but I don't think the pain disappears. It will come back, she was your mother after all"
Me"I miss being in a relationship, I feel alone. I think I hate being alone because I'm left with my thoughts"
"I don't want Lwazi, I don't think I can ever trust him again"
Thabang" Fuck him, you will find love when the time is right. Who knows, the love of your life might be in those fancy houses you clean. You got a best friend from them, you might just get a husband"
We both laughed
Me"Your turn, hahaha yeke uthetha ububhanxa"
Thabang" I feel like time is no longer on my side, I look at my peers and they're doing so well for themselves, I feel like I should have used my parents contacts. It's as if everyone else is doing well and me trying to be independent and go my own route is just killing me"
"I don't want their money to succeed but I feel like at this point, I don't have a choice because I am done to my last 1000rand. I need petrol, and food for work. I can't even afford the trips anymore, it feels like I am being fake for trying to complaining about being too rich but I just wanted to do things for myself. I really wanted to live my life without relying on my parents"
Me" I know you, and I know what you are capable of but babe accept your privilege. Use it to your advantage, make it work for you. Those that judge you for your privilege can fuck off, or you can break away and start over. Without the cars, without the apartment. I can help you with that, my childhood home is still available. You can go there and just runaway from your parents, get a job and see where to go from there. I know you, if anyone can succeed it's you"
Thabang" And what if I fail?"
Me"Then you failed, people fail all the time but at least you still have the option of coming back home and being rich again"
We both laughed, we both sat in silence processing things then he finally spoke.
Thabang" Are we going to do fake yoga today?"
Me"Nah, let's just watch a movie and eat some ice cream"
Thabang"Mix that red wine with ice cream"
Me"You are a genius"
He smiled
Thabang"Well you bring out the best in me"

My person