WORDS (Book 1) [COMPLETE]

6

Chapter 6

I have been in hospital for a 16 weeks, fractured skull, ribs and a broken jaw. I had 7 different surgeries, and I was finally ready to go home. They were probably annoyed by Thabang, he was just taking out his frustrations out on everyone.
Thabang"Lonz"
I didn't reply, I didn't talk, words never came out. It was like someone took away my voice.
Thabang"We are going to my place, I moved all your things to my place. I hired a nurse for you, she will only be there while I'm at work"
I started crying
"Nothing will happen, she won't do anything to you"
I tried to say something but nothing came out. I wanted to tell him so much, I wanted to tell him I don't want to go to his place. I didn't want him taking care of me, I wanted to get away from here, I wanted to die, I wanted my life back.
Thabang" I am trying Lona, I don't know nam ngoku"
Listening to him cry killed me, I know he felt like this was all his fault but this is South Africa. Farm break ins and murders are not anyone's fault. Secluded areas are the easiest targets when it comes to crime, there is nothing special about them. They are just like any crime in South Africa.
Thabang" We are here"
The first thing he did was run me a bath, he walked out then locked the door from outside. I took off my clothes and went into the water.

PTSD can be trigger by the smallest things, in my case Thabang's Coloured neighbor shouting at his children.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaahhhhhh"
I got out of the water and banged the bathroom door. It felt like I was there again, like they were dragging me. Zuko's lifeless body next to me and his eyes opened looking at me.
"Nooooo noooo noooo"
*
*
*
"Ndim Lona"
"Just open your eyes"
He looked at him and I finally calmed down, he helped me wear my pyjamas. We went straight to bed, he held me while I cried.
I couldn't stop shaking, I couldn't get out of that place. His eyes, hearing Sarah's cry and Nathan crying over Zuko. I couldn't get my mind to stop reliving that.
Me" I can't be here"
"Thabang, ndifunu hamba apha"
Maybe he was shocked that I was speaking again, I don't know but he was silent.
Me"Take me to PE please"
Thabang"You can't be alone Lelona"
I continue taking from Thabang and he gives, that's not fair.
Me" I can't...I.. "
"Don't make... me stay.."
I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, Thabang was just sitting there.
Thabang"Ufuna amanzi?"
He looked so drained, like he hasn't slept in a while.
Me"Ulala nini?"
Thabang"Are you okay?"
Me"No, but you need to sleep"
Thabang"I will but not until I know you are okay"
I got out of bed, then went to the kitchen came back with a bottle of water and tablets.
Me" At least take this to control your flu"
I gave him two of my sleeping pills, he didn't need to what they were. He took them, I drank one then locked the door.
Me"Iza, catch me up on Cape Town gossip"
He fell asleep as soon as he got to the bed, I covered him with a blanket then closed my eyes and waited for the pills to take my pain away.

3 Weeks later (8 years ago)

Bahle" Thabang!!!!!!"
Me"Why are you shouting?"
Bahle"I like annoying him"
Me"You are wrong for this"
Thabang looked at her and rolled his eyes.
Thabang"You have over stayed your welcome"
"Ufuna ntoni gqwirha?"
I always laugh at them, they get along for an hour then they go back to arguing about absolutely nothing.
Me"Haha don't be mean"
Bahle"Voestek"
"I wanted to say; you can go out or do whatever, I'll stay here with Lona. I need to prepare her for next week"
I was going back to res, and varsity. I was ready to go back. I was going to counseling and it was going well, I took my pills, so I was okay to be around people.
Thabang" Masambeni"
Me"Uyaphi?"
Thabang" Not sure, you are driving, so you'll decide for us"
Me"Okay"
I didn't want to go too far, we went to the Pizza spot to blocks away. We ate they drank and I had some juice.
Thabang" Next stop?"
Bahle"Y'all drop me off at Forest hill"
Me"New res?"
Bahle"Yea, it's not bad wethu"
Thabang"Nooope. We are having fun today. Let's go ice skating"
True to his word; we were all 10 again, we ended the night with candy floss.
Bahle" I'll drive, you can rest"
We all went back to Thabang's place, when we got there I saw him first. He was standing outside his car, he looked scared.
Thabang"Sijike?"
Me"Myeke"
Thabang opened his apartment and we all went in.
Bahle"Hey Nathaniel Mortgomery-Rhodes"
Nathan smiled her.
"Your surnames are so rich"
Thabang"She is weird"
We all laughed
Nathan"Hey Bahle"
Thabang"excuse us"
He pulled my arm and lead me to his room, he closed the door then lit the candles.
Thabang" Go"
This meant it is a safe space, we can vent and be honest.
Me" I am not ready to speak to him, I don't think I can do it. Not tonight anyway, not while I'm pretending to heal"
Thabang" I knew he was coming, he has been calling everyday. He blames himself and he really isn't okay too. The guy that died practically raised him, Sarah too. He isn't looking for pity but he just wants to apologize, you were in his house and I think he just wants you to know he is sorry"
Me"Not tonight"
Thabang"So I throw him out?"
Me"No, but just tell him I am not ready to relive that day"
He blew out the candles then we went to join the others.

Bahle"Nathaniel"
"I love calling you that"
Thabang"I usually throw her out"
Nathan and I laughed
Me" stop being mean"
"How do you two know each other?"
Thabang" Nathan, Andrew and I were in Michaelhouse together"
Bahle"Yhooo! College boys, no wonder you are so annoying"
Nathan"Hahaha how do you know Thabang?"
Thabang and I laughed
Me" I was a domestic at his parents place, we started talking and we never stopped. Then he called me this one Sunday and said I should tell my res security guard to let him in. I thought he was joking, when I got downstairs he was waiting for me with cheese cake in one hand and wine on the other"
"He had to leave the wine downstairs though, after that we were inseparable and self care Sunday became a thing"
Nathan" What's that?"
Thabang" Sunday belongs to us, we spoil ourselves then we go home, put on pyjamas and face mask because we have to look good then watch a movie we pick out randomly. At 7 pm, we light white sage and candles then we vent"
Nathan looked like he had so many questions
Me" It's our thing"
Bahle" Yes, they are weird"
Nathan" You never did these things with me"
Thabang laughed at him
Thabang" You are not her! We do our own things, Lonz and I just have our own traditions"
Nathan decided to cook for us, we ended up staying in and watching Animal planet. I tried to protest but it fell on deaf ears, the thing about traditions they always start small. We find ourselves in a room with the people we love, the people that we choose to be with during the good and the bad times. What started out as a night he came to check on me, ended up being a thing we did with our children and their children. The four of us, but at this moment we were all just friends having fun and acting stupid together.

Bahle and I finally finished washing the dishes, we went to hangout with the guys again.
Bahle"Remind me to send Nate an invitation"
Nathan"For?"
Thabang"She is getting married"
Bahle"You are still not invited"
Thabang"Okay then; I still think you are being stupid but do best champ"
Me" It's her life"
Bahle"Thank you"
"And I am happy"
Nathan"So confused"
Thabang" Her spiritual advisor dreamt about her and some fucker she isn't even dating. Guess what? They have to get married"
Nathan" Is that..."
Thabang"A cult? Yes"
Nathan laughed, Bahle was so annoyed
Me"Suba njalo"
Thabang"I am sorry but for a smart person, you are being stupid"
Me"Thabang"
Nathan"Do you love the guy? Like walk me through this, so he dreams and people get married"
Thabang" yes, they are gullible enough to fall for that"
Bahle"You are dismissive of my Christianity"
Thabang"You are in a cult!!!!!"
They started arguing again, I looked at Nathan.
Me"This will go on for a while, wanna help me mix drinks for us?"
He nodded, we went to the kitchen. Thabang and Bahle were still arguing.
Nathan" Are you okay?"
I closed my eyes, opened them then looked at him.
Me"No but I will be, and you?"
Nathan" Same here"

....