Reasons to Loathe [COMPLETE]

Kabanata 22

NOTHING'S CHANGE
Ardent

My heart hurts.

"Bruno, don't die on me." I whispered as I carress his brown fur.

I don't know how my young mind would explain to mama and papa how I feel.

My heart hurts. I feel like there's a knife stabbing it but I couldn't see any blood coming out from my chest.

Is it possible? I'm sharing the same feeling Bruno felt when he was hit by a car?

Did the car hit Bruno on his chest? Is it this painful?

"Lolo, Bruno died." I said as my eyes blurred because of the tears forming on it.

Bruno was my beagle puppy. He was lolo's gift to me when I was awarded as the Inventor of the Year on our Science fair.

"What happened?" he asked without looking at me. He was more interested to the newspaper he was reading than to his weeping grandson.

"He ran outside." I sniffed. "I didn't saw him. The next thing I knew, he was lying in the middle of the street." my tears worsen and my voice hitched.

"Then why are you crying? He was just a dog." he put the newspaper down and threw me his handkerchief. "Wipe your tears and clean yourself. Your friends would be coming anytime soon." he said.

I stopped myself from crying hard and did what he said.

"A Saavedra doesn't cry, Ardent. A Saavedra doesn't grieve over useless things."

I want to tell him that Bruno isn't useless neither a thing. He was everything I had eversince kuya entered high school. He made me feel happy so he can't say that to my Bruno.

"I want a proper burial." I requested.

"Why? He's not even a human."

"I want a proper burial." this time, I made it sound like an order. "Buy the park where we use to play and burry him there."

He didn't respond. But the next thing I knew, the park was closed for the public. It was named after me and the only thing you can see there is a gravestone for my beloved Bruno.

That was my earliest memory of this familiar pain I'm feeling. My young brain thought I shared the same feeling with my dog.

My heart was feeling it again but the difference is that I'm not grieving over a dog now. The difference is that I've grew up and the feeling grew stronger. Mas masakit siya kaysa sa nawala kong aso.

Ang malala pa, wala akong pwedeng sabihan. Hindi ko makakausap si Daryl para sabihan niya akong huwag kong gawin 'to o yan para hindi magalit si kuya Enzo niya. Nagtatampo rin si Lauren kaya walang magsasabing susuportahan niya ako. Siguradong ayaw rin akong kausapin ni Amy kaya walang sesegunda kay Lauren.

Nawala sa akin si Lorenzo kasama ng mga kaibigan namin.

I want to talk to him again kasi I still don't understand his reasons for ending this. But if that's what he wants then that's what I'll give him.

I can't just unlove him but the least thing I can do is to show him I can listen to him.

Yes baby, papakinggan kita. Kung gusto mo ng break-up, ibibigay ko.