Reasons to Loathe [COMPLETE]

Kabanata 23

NUISANCE

Ardent

I woke up with a throbbing head. I can just barely open my eyes too and my body felt so heavy.

"Fck," I whispered when someone opened the curtains on my window. "Close it muna!"

Just before I could open my eyes widely, I felt a good amount of water slap my face and some of it infiltrated my lungs. I choked on it so I sat right up to breath properly.

"Who the fck did—" before I could even complete the sentence, a strong hand landed on my cheeks.

It was so strong that I stumbled on the floor.

"I did." it was lolo.

"Lo, that's too much." kuya Austin approached me to help me stand up but I just swept it.

"For a dying man, you surely can slap hard, huh?" I asked lazily as I wiped my face with my shirt. "Why are you even here? You just came here a few days ago."

"Exactly." he fire back. "Katatapos lang kitang sabihan ilang araw lang ang nakakaraan pero anong ginawa mo? You're planning to end your life?!"

I smiled bitterly.

"I didn't." depensa ko. "I was just feeling the air."

I didn't mind to stand up. Aside from the fact that I'm too dizzy, I felt weak once more. I felt weak after realizing that I've lost him.

I was planning to numb everything from now on but recalling it still pains me. Bakit masakit pa rin? Bakit kumikirot pa rin?

"Really? Feeling the air?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya. "And who told you you're allowed to drink?"

"I was taste testing!" I lied.

Nilingon ko si kuya para humingi ng tulong pero imbes na tulungan ako ay umiling siya.

"This time, hindi kita matutulungan Ardent." kuya Austin said. "Binalaan na kita tungkol sa lalaking yan."

"You planned on taking your own life for that asshole? Come here and let me do that for you."

Nilapitan ako ni lolo para iangat gamit ang neckline ng damit ko.

"Lolo," hinawakan ni kuya ang kamay ni lolo para awatin.

"Punyeta ka!" sinampal ako ni lolo ng sobrang lakas na para bang umikot pa lalo ang paningin ko. "Kung balak mong ipahamak ang sarili mo, siguruhin mong hindi sa mga walang kwentang bagay!" dinuro niya ako. "Tandaan mo Ardent, hindi ka ganyan kahina! Ni minsan hindi kita tinuruang maging mahina!"

His words stung my chest. Sana nakinig ako nang maayos kay lolo. If I did, baka hindi ako naging mahina pagdating kay Lorenzo.

My eyes are already tired but tears started streaming down again. Hindi ko na rin mapigilan ang paghikbi.

"I'm sorry." I pleaded like a mad man. "I'm sorry."

I don't even know who am I apologizing to or what for.