Reasons to Loathe [COMPLETE]

Kabanata 42

HERE COMES THE GROOM

Ardent

Brando knew.

Dati pa niyang alam na sinusundan ako ni Lorenzo. He wasn't just telling me because he thought it was bad for me.

I want to punch him once more because of that. Pero anong magagawa nun? At ano rin ang magagawa ko kapag mas maaga kong nalaman na sinusundan ako ni Lorenzo?

"These past few days, mas dumadalas na ang pagsunod niya sa'yo." kwento niya. "Una kong nakumpirma nung nakita ko siya sa tapat ng condo tower natin."

"Sa tapat?" ulit ko.

"He owned a unit there. Hindi nga lang niya tinitirhan kasi pabalik-balik siya sa Pilipinas." sagot niya. "I never told you kasi it was all just a hunch. Napatunayan ko lang nung nagpakita siya sa'kin bago tayo lumipad papuntang Paris."

"Kaya binawalan mo akong mag-jog that day?" tanong ko na tinanguan niya.

"I understand kung magagalit ka sa'kin—"

"No," I cut him off "wala rin namang mangyayari kapag mas maaga kong nalaman 'di ba? Mas magugulo lang ang utak ko."

Tahimik lang siya. Nakatitig lang sa'kin pero ako, nasa labas ng bintana ng eroplano nakatingin. The plane just took off.

"What did he say?" tanong niya.

I shook my head. Closed my eyes, stopping my tears

"Ardent, tell me." pilit niya.

"He," my voice cracked just thinking about the word. "he loves someone else, Brando."

"That's imposible." agap niya. "Why would he stalk you if he does love someone else?"

"Maybe to mess with my head. To make sure I'm still suffering." sambit ko.

"Then he's a jerk."

"I deserve it though," agap ko. "I left him. I messed with his feelings first. Now, he's marrying someone who he loves and he's making sure I'm still stuck in Rivamonte. I'm still stuck on that day, that feeling, that sadness." I told him looking straight into his eyes.

He sighed.

"You really have to move on." he said. "Why don't we spend the holiday in Montreal? Maybe that's what you need, time with your family."

Umiling ako nang hindi tinatanggal ang mata sa kanya.

"Dent, please. Masyado ka ng stressed sa work, you need time to rest."

"Rest," I chuckled but my tears betrayed me. "Siya ang pahinga ko, eh. Paano yun?"

"I don't know what to say anymore. I feel like I've told you everything already. I wanted to help you pero hindi mo tinutulungan ang sarili mo."

I smiled sadly before looking out.

I'm tired.

I'm exhausted.

Pagod na pagod na akong umiyak. Pagod na akong mabuhay bitbit ang bigat ng pakiramdam. Pagod na akong magpatuloy nang may bagaheng dala.

I need to leave everything that's been holding me back. I need to leave them where I got them.

"Uuwi ako sa Pilipinas." sambit ko nang hindi siya tinitignan.

"W-when?" tanong niya.

"Not now, but I will." sagot ko. "I left myself at Rivamonte 5 years ago. Kailangan ko na siguro siyang balikan."