Reasons to Loathe [COMPLETE]

Kabanata 51

GALA

Ardent

"So," I started as I walk inside lolo's office. "Why the sudden re-embracing of our family tradition?" I asked before sitting comfortably in his seat.

"A celebration." he answered while pouring rum on two glasses.

"Celebration?" I asked. "As if we have investors and shareholders to celebrate with." sagot ko habang tinatanggap ang inabot niyang glass na may rum. "O baka naman iba ang sine-celebrate? Don't tell me you've ruined my reputation once more."

"We're not taking that path, Ardent." he warned me. "As if I'm the one who ruined someone's reputation and business." bulong niyang rinig na rinig ko pa rin.

"Woah, we're not taking that path pero nanunumbat?" tanong ko. "I distanced myself na nga 'di ba? I am a disgrace kaya I went to New York to find myself. And to correct your wrong doings." sumbat ko.

Hindi na ako nagulat na ganito ang napuntahan ng usapan namin. Basta naman magsama kami sa isang diskurso ay nauuwi ito sa putukan ng litid.

"Okay, okay." tinaas niya ang parehong kamay niya bilang pagsuko. "I know you think I've hated you since you came out as gay, but you think wrong."

"Tss," my eye rolled.

"Don't 'tss' me!" pikon niyang sambit.

"You deserve it." bulong ko.

He drank his rum before pouring another. Naglakad siya malapit sa mga libro at doon pumwesto. Medyo madilim doon kaya hindi ko maaninag masyado ang mukha niya.

"I was afraid." sambit niya pero ngayon ay hindi na ako tinitignan. Sa kawalan na ang kanyang mata ngayon. "You were always the weak one. You easily get sick."

Natahimik ako sa biglang pagkukwento niya. Kumakalma na rin ang puso ko mula sa pag-aalburoto nito kanina sa sagutan namin.

"I gave you Bruno and I saw how devastated you were when he died. That's when I realized that you easily get attached and that's a weakness. I need you to be like me. Tough, brave and smart." sambit niya.

"For business?" tanong ko.

"Maybe. But not entirely, Ardent." sagot niya. "When you came out, when you told us that you're gay, that's when I lost it." sambit niya. "I don't think you're brave enough to face the world."

That's cliché. I told my myself. Besides, I've heard this before. Napag-usapan na namin 'to at hindi ko alam kung bakit ito ang pinag-uusapan namin ulet.

"Maybe you thought that I've hated you." sambit niya.

"Is it not?" tanong ko. "I never grew up the way you wanted me to be."

"You did." putol niya. "You grew up like the way I wanted. It was just the bad choices you've made that made me want to control you."

"Bad choices like what?" tanong ko. "Getting into A-Team Modeling Agency?"

He sighed before putting his glass of rum down. Naglakad siya papunta sa table niya at binuksan ang isang drawer doon.

"I wanted to you to succeed with the path you chose." sambit niya habang naghahanap ng folders.

"So aside from you being a control freak, wala ka ring tiwala sa'kin." I stated. "I'm not surprised."

"It's not that." kalmadong sambit niya bago nilapag sa harap ko ang isang folder.

"What is that?" tanong ko nang hindi niya binuksan ang folder.

Sinenyas niya lang na buksan ko ito kaya ginawa ko. Bumungad sa akin ang ilang litrato ni Meiko sa iba't ibang lugar. Sa lahat ng litrato ay iba-iba ring lalaki ang kasama niya.