Killian

Chapter 5

A/N this is my favourite song and it kinda goes with August and Sophia.

Sophia

Dad opened the door for me as we entered the school, some pupils were running late and stopped to look at me. No one I knew luckily. They're probably wondering why the hell I've got twigs in my hair and look a mess. I looked down, I didn't like this feeling of vulnerability. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea, but I need to do it for my education. It's not much stuff I'm present for at school, so I feel like I'm obligated to be there whenever I can. The pupils scurried away when a teacher shouted for them. Dad stood like a shield before me so they didn't get to see much anyway.

"Do you have a change of clothes here?" My dad questioned as we continued to move down the hallway. I nodded and pointed towards my locker. My clothes felt damp and cold. I'm forever grateful for my past self for packing clothes in there. I could feel the familiar sting in my eyes from being tired. I, in all honesty, wanted to go home and sleep. I think I actually have some running shoes in my locker, most of my books are at home so my locker isn't as full. 

When I do physically show up for school, I'm permitted to run on the field when we have break. A lot of the times I took the offer, sometimes I just sat on the field. I was previously on the track team before Killian died. It was actually Killian who pushed for me to go. He came to every meet we had, he had a nurse with him the last couple of times. He shouldn't have been outside so we vouched to run inside. And because we were rich kids they didn't say no. I could see they wanted to please us, we sponsor the whole track team, we still do. But atlas when he died I quit, almost immediately. I didn't want a memory of a track meet without Killian.

Dad's phone pinged as we stopped in front of my locker. He frowned at it which made me curious before he said. "I have to go and handle something with the principle, you go get changed and I'll meet you on the field, yeah?" He seemed a little bit tense as his hand went to my shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. Oh dad is mad. I know because dad has telltales for all of his emotions and right now he's squeezing my shoulder whilst tapping his feet. I gave a stiff smile as he kissed my forehead and bloody power walked to Mr. Williamson's office. 

I was all alone with my thoughts now. Great. I grabbed my cold arm and pulled on the small hairs. Trying to focus on that rather then my thoughts, I'm fucking cold.I starred at the lock on my locker. Hoping it would just magically pop off. After a few mental tries I gave up and started my combination. I put it in, hoping it would open but of course it would not because American's have fucking shitty locks.

"Fuck" I cursed under my breathe trying to not lash out. Why isn't it working? Why won't it just open? Okay, Calm down. Count with yourself first, Sophia.

5 6 9 4

I listened after it whether it clicked or not. Of course it didn't click. I felt the burn in my nose as I needed to cry. The tears welled up in my eyes. I tried it again. 5 6 9 4. My anger got the best of me. I hit it. Again, and again and again. It's just so fucking annoying, why did I think this was a good idea? I just straight up went mental last night and slept outside. I'm obviously not mentally okay.

I don't know how many times I hit the metal door, but I stopped as I saw blood smeared all over the blue metal. The smell of iron wafted the air. I then looked down at my fist, it still wasn't fully recovered from previous beating and now I had broken the skin that was stretched over my knuckles again, my skin was red and blood seeping through every possible escape. I smiled a light smile at it. It made me feel better when it hurt.