Ghost Boy // Lil Peep

8.

Peep stares at the front door trying to piece together what just happened. Trying to figure how he manage to break the strongest person in his life, if she leaves for good his life is over, he needs to figure out how to make this right again how to build her back up again. He needs to take control of his life before he hurts her forever and she never comes back. 

Mac runs down the street and she just keeps running until she reaches the sea. Her happy place, It's early morning on a Monday there is barely anyone about, she sits on a bench overlooking ocean pulling her phone out her pocket she goes to dial Malika its not until somebody else answers the number she realises how long its been. They've given her number out to somebody else. 

"Hello?" A unfamiliar voice answers. 

"Sorry wrong number" Tears well in her eyes. She goes to Dial her Dad's number.

*This is keef, Leave a message after the beep and I'll decide whether to call you back*

She goes to dial her Mum. 

*Hey this Patti leave a message and I'll phone you back! If you're looking for Keith I'll get him to phone you back*

Her heart breaks knowing that the people she turns to in a crisis are gone. She pulls a pack of smokes out of her pocket and lights up. She looks out at the ocean she is so lost, the man she loves and cares about more than the world has broken her trust and shattered her soul, maybe for good. How can she ever trust me again after what he has done to her? It is not fair on either them for Mac to keep having these outbursts, It will only weaken their relationship to the point where they can no longer have one. She either needs to put this bed once and for all and move on with their relationship. To grow together or she leaves him, bringing it up every time they fight will not help the situation. The ball is in her court now, she truly believes Gus when he says he will spend his life making it up to her, when he says he is sorry about everything that he has done to hurt her. She is in deep thought when a hand on her shoulder breaks her train of thought. Startling her as she looks up at the figure coming to sit beside her. It's Mat. He pulls her in for a cuddle. 

"Oh hey" Her eyes go back to the ocean, she rests her arms on the railing. "Do you remember when Dad would take us to the beach whenever he could? Even in the pouring rain. He would takes us, I guess that why I love the ocean so much reminds of happy times, calms me down, helps me think, clears my mind" The pair laugh at the memories of their late father. "You know they gave Malika's number out to someone new?" She nods her head "Sometimes I phone it to hear her voicemail. but this time someone answer" Tears stream down her face "She is truly gone now" Mat rubs her back in comfort "How do I forgive him? How I do look at him and not doubt everything we ever had together? How I do I let him out of my sight and not worry he is with someone else?" Her thoughts come spewing out like word vomit. Unable to stop them, she unloads all her thoughts onto her brother, She turns to him.

"You just do or you leave. This isn't healthy keeping it bottle up and letting it burst out when it gets too much. He loves you, he is back on that bus dying from the pain he caused you. You're out here dying from the pain because you love him so much. I have nothing powerful to say to you, I've fucked up as badly as he has and Chloe is still here. I think all I can say is the love and bond you two have strong enough, powerful enough to pull you through this?" 

"I don't know anymore Mat, I don't know" She grabs her bag rummaging through before grabbing a pill bottle and taking two xanax, she looks at her wedding ring thinking of the vows they made to each other playing with her long nails, the temptation to throw them in the ocean and disappear is growing.   she starts playing with the strap on the watch he gave her. Catching at look at the time "Fuck I gotta get to the venue" She grabs her bag and they start walking back to the venue. Mat takes her bag as she enters the venue and he heads into the bus. Peep looks at him with tears in his eyes hoping it is Mac.