Ghost Boy // Lil Peep

7.

Peep is silent for most of the journey to Australia, she watches as he sleep for most of the flight. He took xanny before flying he said it was to calm his nerves but she knows he needs it more than just to calm his nerves. Since the funeral he has been pretty quiet but Mac has seen him trying to be sneaky with xanax and percs. Doing what he does best, drugs. They reach Aus she sees Chase waiting for them and to her surprise Chloe and Mat. 

"Hey fucking boo!" She runs up to Chloe holding her tight. Thanking god she has got someone else on this tour who can help her with Peep. "What the fuck are you doing here?" 

"Bro" Mat and Peep hug. 

"Fucking off life and touring with our besties. You ok girl?" Chloe looks at Mac as she looks like she is about to cry. 

"Yeah I'm good right now. Just stressed about this fucking tour right now" She looks over at Peep talking with Mat, looking back at Chloe and Mouths Peep is back on it. One singular tear escapes her eye quickly wiping it away before Peep picks her up and puts her on his back. They go wandering out of the airport to the tourbus parked up in the parking lot. Mat and Peep head to the back of the bus to do god knows what, Mac and Chloe sit on the couch at the front of the bus, Mac sits with her face in her hands. Tears escape her eyes "Chloe I am lost. I do not know what to do. We've never had to deal with death when it's him that has lost someone. It has always been me, first Malika then my parents. I feel like I'm fucking up this whole supportive thing"

Chloe rubs Mac's back as she cries into her hands. "You're not fucking up"

"You know he hasn't touched me in weeks? No kisses, no hugs not even a fucking hand hold. Feel like after the Bella thing he doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't want me anymore. We used to have sex like every day. For like 5 years. Now we haven't had sex in weeks. Way before his dad died. Feel like he feels we are boring now, now we have been married for 3 years. He's bored Chloe. Why else would he kiss her? Why else would he let Layla suck his dick?" 

"But didn't he say he kissed her cheek and she moved?"

"Do you think that's true?" She looks at her with makeup stained eyes just at the point Peep walks back into the room high as a kite. She looks up at him, he looks at her with cold, glassy eyes. "What have you done?" she spits out the words at him.  

"Nothing. What's wrong baby?" She gets up and barges past him into the backroom to sort her makeup out. "What is that about?" He looks at Chloe.

"She is not over it, she thought she was but she isn't. She feels like it's her fault" Chloe informs her. 

She kneels on the couch looking in the mirror on the back wall. She watches as Peep follows her into the room closing the door behind her. "Do you still love me?" She asks looking at him through the mirror. 

"Yes I of course I do babygirl" He comes behind her putting his arms around her waist. "Why would you ask that?" He kisses her neck. Tears escape her eyes again. 

"Because it feels like you don't. Feels like I'm fucking this all up, fucking things up with supporting you through this difficult shit with your Dad"She spins around sitting on the couch, he sits down on the couch opposite her. 

"Baby why would you say that?" 

"Feel like you don't want me anymore. You don't touch me, cuddle me in bed, kiss me even hold me. You kissed Bella and the Layla thing" Peep becomes uncomfortable at thought that Mac blames herself for his adultery. "Did I do something wrong? To make you not want me anymore" She cries in front of him.

He gets on his knees in front of her, holding her hands against his face, kissing them "Baby you did not do anything wrong. I love you so fucking much, more than you'll ever know. I know I say this a lot but I will spend the rest of my fucking life showing you how much I am sorry, how much I love you and I will spend the rest of my life making all my mistakes up to you. Please don't give up just yet" He sits there on his knees begging her. She feels the bus stop at the first venue. She moves her hands from his face and stands up moving towards the door. He stands about to follow her "Please Mac don't give up on me or us"

"NO" She shouts in frustration "Don't do that. Don't make seem like I'm giving up on us" She looks at him through tears in her eyes. "YOU GAVE UP ON US. YOU LEFT ME TO BE WITH LAYLA . YOU MADE THE CONSCIOUS DECISION TO SEE BELLA, YOU KNEW SHE WANTED YOU. YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SITUATION " She screams "Don't emotionally manipulate me"

"Please baby I'm so sorry. Please don't go" He begs her tears streaming down his face. 

"I can't. I need time Gus" She cries as she speaks. 

"Please Mac. Don't walk through that fucking door" The drugs start to kick in and he gets cocky. 

"Or what? You'll fuck some whore?" 

The words ring in his ears "What the fuck?!"

"It's not like that is something you've not done"

"You bitch. You know I regret that. Why do you keep bringing it up? Do you like hurting me?" 

"I'M NOT HURTING YOU. YOU'RE FUCKING HURT ME GUS"

"Do you not think I break everytime it is mentioned? I BREAK AT THOUGHT THAT I'VE HURT YOU AND CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO FUCKING FIX IT. Let me fix it" He tries to grab her hands but she moves closer to the door. 

"BECAUSE I'M FUCKING HURT. I'M BROKEN FROM IT. I'M NOT THE ONE WHO HAS FUCKING CHEATED" She screams at him through the tears. "I'm broken Gus. I thought I was healed but I'm not" She grabs her bag from the side and leaves the bus. Everyone stares at the backroom and back to the front door where Mac has just exited from.