Ghost Boy // Lil Peep

31 Netflix part 4

6 x missed call Pickles 🥒

"Urgh why does Mat keep calling?! Does he not get the message?!" Mac groans as she hears her phone vibrate on the table again for 7th time.

"Why don't you just block him baby?" Gus comes up behind her kisses her head.

"Do you not think that's a little harsh?"

"You're the savage queen" he laughs at her kissing her. "You filming today?" She miss her head "ok baby. We are doing date night tonight. Sushi and cocktails"

"You know the way to my heart babyboy" she smiles at him. Pulling his face close to her, she squishes it around before kissing him " I love you Gus"

"I love you too baby"

MacDaddy we went on an adventure today! Found this cute spot! Gus's body has still got LA Heat absorbed into it 😭 crazy man with no shirt on in February. oh yeah I got my sexy blonde bombshell back 😍😍 you're gonna get it later🥵🥵

Tagged LilPeep

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LilPeep oooo is that a promise? 👀🥵👀🥵

MacDaddy @Lilpeep you know it is baby 🥵🥵

Netflix start setting up for what Mac hopes is going to be the final interview. She leaves her phone in the kitchen not needing Mat's constant calling distracting her. They are filming in the bedroom this time. Too cold for outside.

"Why do you think you and Peep live the way you do? Doing drugs, drinking, partying all the time?" Ben asks.

She laughs at the question "you know no ones ever asked us that? People always judge us for our lifestyle choices but never ask why we pick them" she looks up at the camera with this curiosity in her eyes. " I can't comment for Gus but I started doing serious drugs I think the same way everyone does. I was offered them at a party once and I tried coke *she shrugs her shoulders laughing* I didn't go out with the intention to do coke. I went to a party at like 17, I was offered, I tried it. Didn't think oh yes I'm gonna do this every day until it kills me or I kill me. I think after the first time I tried coke, I didn't do it again for like maybe a month or two? Then I was at another party. Was offered it again this time took the guys number. Then I started buying it occasionally for like parties or going out. Then occasionally became every time I was going out then it became like all the time. I was in a pretty abusive relationship for a while and I personally used it as an escape mechanism * her eyes start to well with tears* I needed some sort of escape from what I had let my life become. For a long time I thought I had done something wrong to have a relationship like this. So I needed to escape that. *she wipes away the tears that escape her eyes * Coke for a while was that escape when the beatings got worse so did the drugs. Someone introduced me to Xanax and Percocets, these became my favourite. Because I could really numb shit out then. I think for last 6 months of my relationship with my ex I was just numb, I could not feel an emotional thing *she shrugs her shoulders wiping away the tears* Eventually I discovered that feeling like this was not normal and my friends helped me escape that relationship. That's when I met Gus. He became my saviour. He always says that I saved him but he really saved me as well. If I hadn't met him. Drugs would of ended my life and I would happily let it because I was ashamed of myself *she keeps wiping away tears* I remember once Gus and I were in bed, I was rolling a zoot and I asked him this very question. He asked me the question back, I'll never forget the response I gave. I said to the love of my life 'to kill my demons, even if it just for a short time. Maybe one day I'll stop. Maybe on day it'll kill me' for a long time I prayed to god that they would take my life. I would literally be taking a pill thinking 'maybe this will be the one that does it' or I would be doing line looking at it like 'please be the one' because I always felt like I was burden on people. That was what I was made to feel like so I actually started to believe long after that relationship was over. But when Gus gave me the same answer it was a wake up call. I never want to lose him to drugs and it made me think well maybe someone actually doesn't want to lose me either. It took a long time for change to happen but we are finally getting there. People did try to get us help, but we wouldn't hear it. We did this really annoying thing were chase or somebody would raise the issue that we were going to hard or they were concerned. So to prove the point that we didn't need them we would stop for a few days or a week. But it wouldn't last long. I know everyone thinks that Gus is the only one who has made mistakes through our relationship but I have too. I put Gus through so much with my addiction. Now I look back at those times and it was an addiction. I refuse to believe it at the time but it was. I was an addict and so was Gus *she shrugs her shoulders. Opening up a part of herself she has only ever done with Gus* but he saw through that and he knew we worth fighting for just like I believe, we've made it though the other side Stronger than ever" she laughs wiping away the tears. She takes a tip of her Diet Coke before the next question is asked.

"What happened on 11/15/17?"

"Urmmm a lot happened that day" she laughs "We were in Tucson. I had some family come out for the show. We spent the morning just hanging out relaxing. There was only like that show and one more before end of tour. It had been a long tour and even though it was over September, October and November it had be like really warm. It just for some reason was a gruelling tour, felt like longer than it was. There was a problem at like every venue we were at and if there wasn't a problem at the venue then there was a problem with the hotel. Just anything that could of gone wrong did. I was looking forward to going home we were just about to move to London. We also were about to tell the group Peep was leaving. It was a natural progression for him to go solo essentially. We both actually really nervous to tell them. Some of them had become really demanding with things. It was just a long tour. I left to meet my brother and his then fiancé for like late lunch early dinner. Throughout the afternoon my phone was pinging off with these videos of Peep doing Xanax. We had actually be ok with drugs up to this point. I'm thinking fucking hell here we go again, this going to be a San Ana situation all over again. I'm scared for what I'm going to be faced with when I get back to the bus. My brother and his fiancé head back to their hotel to change before the show, it's still kinda warm out so I decide to walk back to the bus. The venue isn't far from where we ate, as I get close to the bus I see an ambulance go racing past. I think nothing of it, then a cop car follows it a and I just get this weird feeling in my stomach. I pick up the pace a little. My mind goes racing back to the videos of him. I text him and I get no response. I try to call him no answer. Now my mind is overdrive I've got 100s of scenarios running through my mind. I find myself running towards the bus. There is an ambulance, 3 cop cars and detective car parked around the bus. My first thought is oh my god he's dead. I show my pass to the guy at the tape who lets me under it. I rush to the door. The cop won't let me in but I can see someone laying on the ground with people around then. My heart is breaking at this point, I've fully convinced myself that Gus is dead. I turn to my left and Bexey is standing there white as a ghost clutching Peeps chain in his hand. I lost my shit. I'm asking everyone where is Gus. No can answer me everyone is just in a state of shock. I fall against the bus in tears because I truly believe it's him on the bus. Then like something out of a rom com. He comes walking down the street licking an ice cream asking if I want any. I just jump on him crying. I don't think I've ever been more grateful to see him in my life. He's ok. It sadly Mackned on the bus"

"What did he die off ?"

"He died of an overdose. But it later came out that he had 4 x the lethal limit of fentanyl in his system from lace Xanax he had bought for Gus" she looks angry at that information.

"Do you think Mackned knew it was laced?"

She nods her head "I've said it before. Some of those boys including Mackned knew what was coming and did not like it one bit. They were looking for ways to stop that move. They knew it was coming. We had started spending more and more time here. Only a fool would not know what was coming. I'm telling you now, When you watch this back at lest half of these people pretending to love Gus and be his friend know about the true intentions of that Xanax. I guarantee it. Keep this in and watch it back. I promise you they know what was really supposed to happened. I'm glad we got out when he did because I think it would of been downhill. I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's not every single person but majority and they know who they are" She shrugs her shoulders sipping her drink. This was her final say on the matter.