Ghost Boy // Lil Peep

18.

"Baby" she whispers to Peep at 2 am waking him up. "Baby I'm horny" she whispers, biting his ear. That woke him up she giggles to herself as Peep kissing down her neck he tries to ignore the fact she has got sweaty chills down her neck. He kisses down her body, pulling her panties to one side, gently kissing her thigh moving closer and closer to the pink paradise. He gently licks getting faster and faster she entangles her hands in his hair as she gets closer and closer. But that's all she does keeps getting closer and closer, never reaching the final point. She gets frustrated with her body and storms out of the room.  Peep lays on the bed looking at the door which is now wide open confused on what just happened, the bus continues to move on to the next cott, he waits a couple minutes knowing she will come out eventually. Like he predicts she comes sulking out of the bathroom looking straight at him, his t shirts that used to drown her are getting shorter as her belly gets bigger. She walks over to him nervously playing with her nails, she doesn't know what is going on with body, she knows from other pregnant friends that they just get so horny all the time and never had problems cumming. Peep has never had any problems making her finish. She is shaking all the time, Peep has not left her side since Dylan said she was withdrawing. Her shakes are getting worse and she can't sneak off for a zoot or anything. She just keeps telling herself I am not an addict. "I'm sorry baby" she sits down on the bed next to him. He puts one arm around her and one hand on her thigh. "This pregnancy has changed my body so much. So much more than I ever thought  and it scaring me that I can't do the same things as before" she starts to cry "now these stupid hormones are kicking in" Peep wipes away the tears from her face.

"Baby it's ok, this is a learning curve for both of us" he kisses her cheek "this is gonna be scary and all new for us but we will get through it together and at the end we will have the most amazing gift" she turns to him she kisses him as rest his hand on her belly. They crawl back into bed together, she turns on her side as he pulls her in for a spoon resting his hands on her belly. She closes her eyes to sleep but all she can see is Peep staring back at her, there's something different about him. It's not her Gus, it's a different Gus. He is dead in the eyes, those big brown eyes she loves are gone and replaced by black eyes. Why did you do it? She looks at him confused trying to move but she is stuck in the positions she is in, moving her hands down to her belly to comfort herself but it gone, she looks down in a panic her stomach is flat their baby is gone. Tears start falling down her face grabbing at her stomach but there's bump no baby there anymore. Tears stream down her face she looks up to call Peep over and she sees Layla walking over. He holds his hand out for her, she takes and they look up at her dead in the eyes. She's gone now. Gus looks down at Layla kissing her, Mac screams at them to get his attention but nothing comes out, it's silent the more she try's to scream the less air gets to her lungs. She wakes up in a panic, sitting up right in bed. Sweat dripping down her body, her hair stuck to her body, the shakes are getting worse. Peep wakes up with her "Baby what's wrong" Mac doesn't say anything she sits there breathing heavy trying to catch her breath back. Her hand goes for her stomach at the moment she touches her belly, peepkin kicks, like the baby knows she needs to know they are there. Peep sits up with her putting his arm around her sweaty shoulders "baby what happened?!" He asks her in a groggy state.

"Nothing just a bad dream baby. Urm what time is it?" Peep reaches and over shows her his phone screen. "Ok it's 6 am" she lays back down trying to go back to sleep but all she does is look at the stars on the ceiling of the tour bus. She manages to get an 2 hours of broken sleep before everyone on the bus is awake and making noises out their door. She feels Peep get out of bed, he tries to make no noise as he leaves the room but the burst of sunlight through the door wakes Mac up. She comes waddling out the room. "Are we at the venue yet?" She groans leaning on Peep.

"Yeah baby. You wanna go shower then go gets some food?" Peep asks eating a strawberry. Mac just nods her head on his shoulder not having an energy to speak. Peep grabs their things before heading into the venue to have a proper shower. He watches Mac she showers, he swears her belly is getting bigger and bigger. She leaves the shower running for Peep. Mac leaves the room to get ready, this lack of sleep is really getting to her now. She barely has an appetite,  barely has any energy to even talk or move. Peep walks into the room fully dressed, he smiles at her "you ready babygirl?" She looks up at him snapping out of her gaze.

"Yeah baby" she climbs out of the chair hand on belly. "What do you think we are having?" She asks him as they walk out to find some lunch.

"I think 100% we are having a babygirl" he laughs with her, holding her hand as they walk down the street.

"Why so sure? I think we are having a baby boy. He kicks like you baby" the pair walk down the street picking random crazy baby names. The pair laugh and giggle as they go. With some food inside she is feeling more herself now, they set up for the show in the day and Mac sneaks off for a quick nap while Chase takes over. Dylan sees Mac shaking in bed he runs off to get Peep, he comes running into the bus. Mac asleep in bed but she is shaking and sweaty like crazy, shiver with cold sweats. He puts his hand on her forehead she is burning up like crazy. He shakes her to wake her up. She looks up at him in a daze her eyes are all glassy. "Baby?" He clicks his fingers in front of her face.

"Yeah I'm good. Am I late?"she climbs out of bed pretending like wasn't just having cold shivers in bed.

"Baby you're a scaring me. Dylan thought you were having a seizure it was that bad. I really think you're withdrawing from coke" she glares at him getting changed.

"I'm not a fucking addict babe. I thought you of all people wouldn't think that of me" she grabs her headset and barges past him out of the tour bus. She goes into the venue getting everything ready for the show, Mac tries to find Peep during Bexey's performance, she runs around everywhere running into the back alley and he's not there. She runs back in but she runs into someone looking up it's Peep. She wraps her around his neck, stretching up and cuddling him, whispering in his ear "I'm sorry about earlier baby these stupid hormones got my emotions going from hot to cold in a second. I love you baby. I promise it just pregnancy stuff" she kisses him.

"It's ok baby. I'm just worried about you and peepkin. I love you babygirl" he kisses. "Come it's show time. I want to do shallow tonight" he smiles at her, pulling her hand toward the stage with him.

He performs star shopping, then pulls her out to sing with him. Afterward she stands on the side watching him do the thing he loves just a little less than he loves her and this baby. She starts to feel a little uncomfortable, a little cramping but she stands through the pain. It becomes more intense she steadies herself on the wall. Her leg starts to feel warm, she rolls her skirt up just enough to feel the warmth dripping down her leg moving into the light she can see blood. The pain becomes more intense, she falls into the wall, Ryan catches her before she hurts herself further the pain becomes so intense that she passes out. The last thing she remember seeing is Peep running off stage toward her. Waking up she is in a hospital bed, Gus in the chair next to the bed. Laid out over her, has a tight grip on her hand. She wiggles free of his grip, she strokes his hair.

"Hey baby" she says in a dry voice. Her free hand goes towards her belly, something doesn't feel right. Peep shoots up looking at her, he hasn't shaved, his eyes are filled with tears. She already knows what is coming but she needs to hear it. The doctor walks in hearing voices in the room. Peep grabs her hand kissing it looking at her. Tears already streaming down his face. She looks back to the doctor.

"Mac, I'm Dr Addison Montgomery. I need to talk to you about" Mac looks at her knowing what is coming next. "About the baby" Peep squeezes her hand hearing that word 

"You have to say it. I won't believe it unless you say it" she takes a hard swallow, looking back to Peep tears stream down both their faces. She looks back to the doctor who looks like this is hardest thing she's ever had to do "Dr Montgomery you have to say it or I won't believe"  She grips tight on to Peeps hand as he stand next to her kissing her head.

"Mac I'm really sorry but you have miscarried. I'm really sorry this happened in the last 24 hours"

"No no no" she screams "I felt the baby kicking this morning. No" she cries into Gus.

"I'm really sorry this has happened to you Mac. There are just somethings in medicine we can't always give a reason for.  In this case you did nothing wrong, there was nothing abnormal in your blood work, reading the notes from your latest check up. This was a healthy pregnancy until it wasn't. I mean this from the bottom of my heart I am truly sorry you have to feel this pain. I would love to give you a reason why this happened, but we can't provide one.  As there was extensive bleeding and we had to go in to stop it. While we were in there we had to remove the fetus, to stop infections. There is nothing you need to do more than just recover in your own time. Please take all the time you need we can arrange counselling to help you with the loss" she leaves the room. Leaving Mac and Gus to pick up the pieces of their shattered family dream. Mac clings on Gus as she cries into his chest.