A Bad Girl's Venom

A Bad Girl's Venom (9)

Edited

Picture of Jayden on the top/side

It was like one of those cliché moments in the movie where the whole world stops and you feel pain in your heart. I stare at her lifeless face and I look over at Cara. She looks up at me with a tear stained face. Her lip wobbles and she looks back down. I turn away and walk out. 

I couldn't. I can't. 

I can't stand there and look at her face knowing that I could have caused this. 

"Damn it! Damn it!" I exclaimed, throwing my bag on the concrete sidewalk and sliding down the brick wall. The stinging in my eyes and burning in my nose signals to me that I'm crying and before I know it, I'm a crying disaster on the side of the road.

I hear footsteps coming towards me and see Jackson sit down next to me from the corner of my eye. It was silent for a long time. The only thing you could hear was the sound of cars passing by and the drip drop of the water from the drain pipe. 

"You know it's not your fault" He tried to break the silence, looking over at me. I stayed the way I was, still and staring at the grafetti on the wall in the distance. 

"You can stop beating yourself up about it too, Arabecca committed suicide for crying out loud! She didn't die because you made her or because someone killed her, she died because she wanted to." Jack exclaimed and ran his hand through his hair. I turned to him and for the first time, he saw my face. The way it looked, how my makeup probably was all over my face and smudged and how I had this sick-sad look on my face. 

"No one commits suicide because they want to, there is always a reason," I tell him and look forward again. 

"The worst thing is I can't stop thinking of how I ended off things with her." I told him and ran my hand through my hair. "I could never imagine, having a twin and having to suffer seeing a replica of yourself laying on the ground, dead," I whisper the last word under my breath. 

"What I'm feeling, this pain, it's only an a inch of what Cara must be feeling right now." I state and Jack looks at me. 

"Yeah... I didn't really look at it like that," He whispered and we both looked forward and stayed silent.

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I sat in the big blue chair in the corner of the room. Axel, Jayden, and Jaxxon were upstairs, Jack was downstairs in his room, James was in his man cave in the basement playing on the X-Box one, and Ms. O'Connell was sat on the couch directly across from me, drinking her tea. She set down the tea and looked up at me with her light green eyes. 

"You sure you don't want to stay here the night?" She asked and I nodded. 

"I just want to go home," I tell her and look down at the floor. I hear her sigh and I look back up and into her green eyes. 

"Okay let me just get my--" She got cut off by her phone chiming. She answered it and held a finger meaning 'one minute' to me.
"Hello?...Yes...Oh....Okay....Okay I'll tell her...Okay bye bye" She hung up the phone and looked at me. 

"Well, that was your mom, she said that she had urgent business to take care of so you're going to have to stay here the night." She announced and I frowned. I nod and fold my hands together. 

"So where am I going to sleep?" I asked her and she gave me small sympathetic smile. 

"Sorry sweetheart but you're going to have to either sleep in Axel's room or Jayden's. I would say that you could sleep in Jack's room but his room is the smallest in the whole house and Axel and Jayden's rooms are the biggest." She told me and I stared at her for a little while before nodding slowly.

"I get it, I'm going to go see which room is better," I replied and stood up. I walked over to the staircase and started to walk up when Jaxxon and Jayden came running down the stairs, shirtless. My head turned back towards downstairs as they ran past me.

"Give it back Jax!" Jayden whined and ran after Jaxxon. Jaxxon laughed and ran into the kitchen where he attempted to hold the item over Jayden's head. It was a black journal with a gold line down the spine of it.

Jayden snatched it out of his hand and growled as he walked back up the stairs to his room, negativity flowing off of him. I watched him go before looking back at Jaxxon. He gave me a small smile and walked over to me. 

"Come on, join the gang," He taunted and grabbed my hand. I hesitated at first before following him upstairs and into Axel's room.

"Kill him!" Axel yelled into his headset.

I slowly walked over to the bed end and sat down right next to Axel. He glanced over at me and rolled his eyes before returning back to the game. I watched as he died over and over again in Assassin's Creed Black Flag. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the controller from him as he died for the millionth time. He glared at me and Jaxxon stared at me with his mouth agape as I aced the mission. I gave the controller back to Axel and slouched a little as they both kept staring at me with amazement.

I stood back up and walked down the hall and into Jayden's room. He was on his phone texting someone with his back turned to me. 

"What do you want?" He asked and I walked around the room, gently running my hand over the furniture.

"Nothing much just trying to see which room is better, your's or Axel's," I replied. Jayden turned around and looked at me, his green eyes staring into my grey ones. 

"Why aren't you sleeping in Jack's room? I mean you guys are pretty much together right?" The way he stated it made him seem jealous or careless about the way he said it. I gave him a hard stare and stopped. 

"We aren't together and why would you care anyway?" I asked, my coldness starting to return. 

"I don't it's just-- I don't okay?!" He raises his voice at me and I kept my cold stare at him going. 

"I'm so sick of you thinking that you run everything. You drove my girlfriend to the point where she commutes suicide, you beat up anybody that gets in your way or threaten them just because you can, and you think that every guy in the world is just going to fall for you just because of some badass move that you do!" He yelled at me and my eyes hardened into a glare. 

"Maybe that's why your dad left you, or why your only boyfriend broke up with you. Maybe that's why your mom is embarrassed to be anywhere with you or why she led herself to drinking in the first place! Because of you!" He yelled at me.

In less then a minute, Jayden was on the ground clutching the side of his face.

"It's really funny how you think you protect your sister and family when you can't even protect your own ass! Maybe, next time we fight like this, you'll last longer than 30 seconds." I spat at him and turned around to see the boys all staring at us. I rolled my eyes and slipped past them and ran down the stairs. I opened the door and ran back to my house. I tried opening the door but to no luck, it's locked. 

"Shit!" I exclaim and walk over to my window. I bend down and grab a rock, throwing it at my window and watching as it just made a dent and fell back to the ground. I tried and tried again and again with several different rocks in desperate need of more rocks until I looked around and there were none left. My breathing quickened and my vision started to get blurry. My hands flew to my hair and I pulled at it in anger and frustration. 

"Fuck!" I screamed and yelled into the silent night air. My body lost balance and I fell onto the wet green grass. My tears flowed out of my eyes as rain started to pour from the sky once again. I stared up at the few stars in the dark sky and started to get sleepier. My eyes dropped as the tears started to stop. The only thing I wanted in that moment was to sleep all my concerns and problems away.