Has anyone ever been in an "in between" crush? You know when you like a guy for a long long long time and now you're starting to get over him. You don't get excited seeing him online. You don't care if he doesn't text you. But yet... You still feel different looking at him than when you look at another guy. You can't quite figure out what it is about him that makes you just... notice him. But the butterflies aren't quite there anymore.
It's hard. Because you want to say you're completely over him. But there's just that tiny little piece inside your heart that has the absolutely tiniest amount of hope. But it's shrinking.
♡
When you don't see someone for awhile, they start to become less and less of a person. They become an idea. They become skewed memories. Over time your mind molds them. You turn that person into something that makes your reality easier and to do so you forget who they were. But then you run into them. They may not even say anything, but the fogged glass shatters. You remember everything that person really is and everything that person meant to you. The idea in your head is wrong. They were and are so much more than that.?
That face gets me every time. It was nice to see you.
♡
I think often crushes are not so much about the other person as it is about ourselves. An attraction to a certain individual reveals a lot about our own values and who we think we are, but also reflects what might be missing in our lives, and the qualities we would like to see in ourselves.
So it's been interesting obsessing over you. Seeing what characteristics I was projecting on to you (who I hoped you were) and endlessly speculating about who you are. Finding out what makes you tick, where you're coming from. Analysing why I adore you so much. Learning about and appreciating the things you enjoy. Taking on some of your personality. So it's been an interesting learning experience.
